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HUMOUR: "EuroEnglish": is this for real???

From:Jonathan Chang <zhang2323@...>
Date:Saturday, September 30, 2000, 18:46
>"EuroEnglish" > >The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been > >reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European > >communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. > >As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that >English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year >phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). > In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
> >sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will >be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters > >kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond >>year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
> >'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. > > In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments > >will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a > >deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of > >silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. > By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
> >by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. > During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
> >'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of > >leters. > > After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b
>mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. >Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
*Gigglabyte* czHANg