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Re: Essentialist Explanations, 8.0 edition

From:Danny Wier <dawier@...>
Date:Saturday, June 23, 2001, 5:41
From: "Dan Seriff" <microtonal@...>
To: <CONLANG@...>
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 4:54 PM
Subject: Re: Essentialist Explanations, 8.0 edition

| John Cowan wrote:
| >
| > There is now a separate Italian section, thanks to a whole set
| > of Italian dialect E.E.'s.
| >
| > I need only 8 more explanations to reach 300!
| Here's some more:
| Latin is essentially Greek with all of the interesting bits dropped into
| the Adriatic.
| Italian is essentially machine gun fire heard from a long way off.
| Dutch is essentially what you know to be English, only heard through
| lots of loud background noise.
| Russian is essentially an articulated wail.
| Old English is essentially mispronounced Modern English spoken while
| wearing armor and carrying a roundshield and sword.

Berber is a cousin of the Semitic languages with a fear of vowels.
Hawaiian is a cousin of Indonesian with a fear of consonants.
Egypt, home of mystery religion, had a language with mystery vowels.
Georgian has vowels but they procrastinate.
Georgian spoken backwards is Russian.
English is Low German plus even lower French minus any sense of culture.
Irish Gaelic's motto: As many phonemes as possible, as few letters as possible.
Low German is Dutch with an identity problem.
Serbs and Croats prefer to communicate with each other in Bosnian.
Romany is a mix of Hindi and everything else.
In Southern US English there is no such thing as a monophthong.
Welsh's motto: Can YOUR language have four consecutive L's?


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Christian Thalmann <cinga@...>