CHAT: FWIW: "You might be a redneck if..." (was Re: CHAT: "John Doe" )
|From:||Paul Bennett <spacey@...>|
|Date:||Sunday, May 21, 2000, 3:39|
Very off-topic but possibly relevant, or at least amusing.
On 20 May 00, at 19:22, Barry Garcia wrote:
> (Note, these are the very negative generalizations. The American comedian
> Jeff Foxworthy Jokes about Rednecks and has a routine where he says "You
> know you're a redneck if....." (I think that's the line). Anyway, i know
> some people who pride themselves on being rednecks, and even had a Puerto
> Rican aquaintence who, since he lived in South Carolina, considered
> himself a redneck (strange as that may sound).
I just happen to have a Jeff Foxworthy CD on my 'puter desk right now.
I'll see what I can find.
You might be a Redneck if...
...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing what the tornado sounded
...you've ever cut your grass and found a car.
...your Dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
...you've ever been too drunk to fish.
...someone asks to see your ID and you show 'em your belt buckle.
...you've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to
defend yer sister's honor.
...your dawg an' yer wallet are both on a chain.
...every day somebody comes to your door mistakenly thinking you're having
a yard sale.
...you've ever financed a tattoo.
...you go to the family reunion to meet wimmin.
...you see a sign that says "Say 'No' to Crack" and it reminds you to pull
yer jeans up.
...you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
...the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
...directions to your house include the words "...turn off the _paved_
...you prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather than hem
...going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a
...you smoked during your wedding.
...people ask to hunt in your front yard.
...your Mother keeps a spit-cup on the ironing board.
...your two year old has more teeth than you do.
...your checks feature pictures of dogs fightin'.