Kew, a new modified English

Here's another future variety of English, more drastically modified than
Mârshen. I call it Kew, pronounced [kEw]. I don't know where the name came
from, but that's what it's called. See how much you can recognize.

Maws i smol. Maws i no big, aba yelfant i big.
Yelfant i grey eza maws, a big eza haws.
Greya maws i manchi yelwa chiyz.
Sem i zeti howm, aba Pet i zeti worka pleys. Wer a yu zet?
Mi da kam, a mi da siyit, a mi da konkarit.
Wene yumi bi gowi howm?
Mi josta manchit. Ka yu no yeta manchit?
Rowla rok i gedari nona mos.
Dir i gresa manchar, aba wulf i miyta manchar.

It might sound at first like just a distorted version of English, but
there's actually a lot going on here. Note that words with an -i suffix
(not counting the pronouns "i" and "mi") are all transitive verbs. The -t
suffix is an antipassive ending, which lets you omit the direct object. The
-a suffix is a general modifier, allowing one word or phrase to modify the
following word. The -e suffix modifies the entire clause. Noun and verb
roots all begin and end with a consonant. Conjunctions begin and end with a
vowel. There are some obvious borrowings from pidgins and creoles (Tok
Pisin "yumi", the use of "i" before verbs, particles before the verb to
show tense and aspect). Influences from other languages are less obvious,
but there's "aba" from German "aber" ("but"), and "manch" ("to eat")
influenced by Italian "mangia" and English "munch". In normal word order,
all word boundaries have a consonant on one side and a vowel on the other
side, which leads to a smoother pronunciation.

Wot a yu tink? Ka gud? Ka yu laykit o no?

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