CHAT: Middle English
|From:||Padraic Brown <pbrown@...>|
|Date:||Tuesday, July 20, 1999, 2:13|
Allright: I'll see your Dave Barry and raise with Tom Weller's version of
Chaucer, from "Cvltvre Made Stvpid: a Misguided Tour of Illiterature,
Fine & Dandy Arts, & the Subhumanitites":
Whan Aprille shoures may coom your waie
They bringen floures that blume in Maie.
Soe if ittes rayninge have ne regrettes
Becausse itte isne rayninge rayne, I wis,
Ittes rayninge violettes.
And whan ye se clowdes uppon ye hille,
Ye soone will se crowdes of daffodilles.
Soe keepe on looken for ye bluebirde
And listning for his songe
Whan ever Aprille shoures coom alonge.
For good measure, he's got Beowulfs battle with Godsylla as well:
Meanehwael, baccat meaddehaele, monstaer lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.
Dhen Hreorfneorhtdhhwr, son of Hrwaerowthheororthwl,
Aesccen aewful jeork to steop outsyd.
Thhud! Bashe! Crashe! Beoom! Dhe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla waeld on his asse.
Monstaer moppe fleor wyth eallum men in haelle.
Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bemaccen waes;
Hearen sond of ruccus saed, "Hwaet dhe helle?"
Graben sheold strang ond swich-blaed scharp
Stond feorth to fyht dhe grimlic foe.
"Me," Godsylla saed, "mac dhe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold with faemed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen.
Beowulf belly up to meaddehaele bar,
Saed, "Ne foe beaten mie faersom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-colha yce-cold, dhe reol thyng.
"Mm...cocca-colha." --Homer Simpson.
On Mon, 19 Jul 1999, Ed Heil wrote:
> And to add to *that,* Dave Barry's mock quotation of Chaucer:
> "In a somer sesun whan softe was the sunne,
> I kylled a younge birde and I ate it on a bunne."
> Remember to pronounce the final E's when you read it aloud to impress
> English majors. :)
> Ed Heil ------------------------------- email@example.com
> "Facts are meaningless! You can use facts to prove anything
> that's even _remotely_ true!" -- Homer Simpson