Re: Let Me Introduce Myself

On 30 Dec 2004, at 8.17 pm, # 1 wrote:

>> >Can YOU say this about your living place???
> it was not an isult it was to answer to those who said they didn't
> understand those who live with annual snow conditions
You get the occasional tremor in Victoria (state of Australia, not city
in Canada). Perhaps you will hear something rattling, but perhaps you
won't. I've never noticed them myself. To an earthquake as a shower is
to a cyclone. *The entire continent* and all the water around it for a
fair while (at least far enough that it's no longer Australia's) is on
a single plate. We have a few ex-volcanoes, but mostly nothing in the
way of tectonic activity... (Western Victoria is pretty flat; there
used to be a lot of volcanoes there, as I understand it, spewing out
lava as they do, but they've had enough time that erosion has levelled
out pretty much the entire region. Australia is very old landmass,
doing nothing but eroding.)

Tornadoes and hurricanes. I can't remember how these work... The only
thing of this nature you get in Australia are tropical cyclones, and
the fact that the first word is 'tropical' should indicate that they
don't happen in temperate Victoria. (I think maybe tornadoes are the
American word for TCs and hurricanes occur entirely inland? Perhaps the
reverse?)

Tsunamis/tidal waves? None here.

Famine, plagues? We're a first world country. If the drought stops
crops growing, it causes economic difficulties, but not deaths.

Drought? So we're in practically a semi-permanent drought, and I can't
remember a time I haven't been told not to waste water. Do you know how
unimportant they are to a city-dweller like me? So the grass goes
yellow in the summer, and more of my taxes go to support countryfolk
trying to grow my food. I can still eat, can't I?

Pollution. I can breathe... Not nearly as bad as Mexico City.
(Melbourne is a city, so obviously will have a certain degree of
pollution.)

Political conflicts such as wars. It's not for no reason the Victorian
Motto is 'Peace and Prosperity'. Our army goes overseas to do America's
bidding often enough, but that's overseas. Only affects me by taxes.

Religious conflicts... Well, occasionally you hear in the paper that J.
Random Muslim is suing Fr J. Random Christian for inciting hate speech
or whatever, but if we complain about this then we'll have to complain
about all civil disputes. Oh no! Quebecois I sues Quebecois II for
patent infringement!

Social conflicts... Nothing worth speaking of.

Don't bother pointing out the whole in the ozone layer; if you're
stupid enough to go outside in summer without adequate protection
(sunscreen, a hat, a shirt) you deserve what you get. You may complain
about bushfires, but I live far enough in the city that they won't
affect me here. Bushfires are a hazard of the land, though.

And no snow. God, Victoria must be perfect! Maybe we should secede from
the Commonwealth and become an independent country. (PS: It does snow
up in the mountains during winter. If I feel like skiing, the only
thing that's stopping me is my lack of ski equipment, and that I can
hire.)

PPS: There's more to consider than just natural disasters when deciding
which area is better. All of this notwithstanding, Victoria is clearly
the best because I live here, and wherever I live is the best place in
the world, by definition.

--
Tristan.

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