Relay Interleaved in English
|From:||Paul Bennett <paul.bennett@...>|
|Date:||Wednesday, December 1, 1999, 12:40|
Well, it appears that all the results are finally all in.
Yay! Very impressive work, 1st-Plural-Inclusive.Epicene.HGH! :-)
Here are the texts of the poem -- as translated into english by the per=
translated into the language in question -- interleaved on a line-by-li=
to better show the change(s) to each line as it passed from one transla=
I thought that since we're now describing a finished product, I'd bring=
the whole list, so we can all squabble publicly about where each of us =
wrong <G>. In compiling this list , I've been struck by the large numb=
Rokbeigalmki words that I'd quite seriously misinterpreted the meaning =
particularly in taking the nominal form of "create" as "creation" rathe=
"creator". Ho-hum, that's life I spose...
Copyright Notice: Unless otherwise specified, all texts are the propert=
their original authors.
The order of the translators (and lines) is as follows. The versions o=
line are grouped into fives, simply because five is a nice easy number =
Sally Caves: Teonaht
Josh Roth: Eloshtan
Matt Pearson: Tokana
Boudewijn Rempt: Denden
Rob Nierse: Gbwia`
Christophe Grandsire: Chasma"o"cho
Pablo Flores: Drasele'q
Irina Rempt: Valdan
Dennis Paul Himes: Gladilatian
Nicole Perrin: Pfinnapax
Adam Parrish: Doraya
John Fisher: Elet Anta
Fabian van-de-l'Isle: Demuan
John Cowan: Lojban
Terrence Donnelly: Vogukadane"
Patrick Dunn: Hatasoe
Nik Taylor: Watakassi'
Andrew Smith: Brithenig
Jeffrey Henning: Dublex
Steg Belsky: Rokbeigalmki
Paul Bennett: Wenetaic
(Sally: can you ask whether Issytra has a second name of any kind?)
I have tried to keep the "sense" of the lines in as natural a progressi=
possible. Where this means splitting lines that have been joined, join=
that have been split, or re-ordering lines that have been moved out of =
I've happily done so. A join by me is shown with "\", a split by me is=
with "<-" and re-ordered lines are shown with "**". Reorderings are fo=
their line number in the version as supplied by the translator (not cou=
blank lines, stanza numbers or other ephemera). Where doing this would=
excessive changes (ie a line requiring both splitting and reordering, o=
reordering within a single line), I've left it in the original phrasing=
because it makes it easier on me, and displays the magnitude of the cha=
nge iin a
manner that has as little obscuration as possible.
So, without further ado, I present:
THE PROVERBS OF BASTET
The Proverbs of Bastet
The sayings of Qunayir
About Broken Leg's sayings
(About) Asclepios's sayings
Of Rodhr=E9l's stories
About the Mother's stories
About the Stories of the Great Mother
The Great Mother is the creator of this poem about the stories
The great mother created this poem about stories.
The great mother created this poem about stories.
The godlike father creates this story about stories
The Greatfather made a story about the idea of stories.
The Great Father explains the making of stories
The great father gives words (i.e., tells) about story-making.
Our Great Father gave us these words about story-making
O Godfather, give us a word about the telling of the story.
Fatherly God, impart to us the word that narrates this story.
O father god! Communicate to me a sound that will tell this statement:=
Oh, creating god! Say to me that which will be said:
"O god creator! You word me a word that is yet to be worded!"
What you hear in the wind may heal you.
What you hear in the wind might make you healthy
What one hears in the wind gives health
The wind giving health is what she always hears
They tend to hear that wind gives health
They hear that the wind gives health.
They hear that good wind gives health.
They hear the wind give good health
She hears the good wind give health.
She hears the wind which gives good health
The wind that gives good health, she hears it.
The wind which causes good health, She listens to it
The wind that creates good health; HE hears that wind
The wind makes might: the One Who Is hears about that.
The breeze strengthens one. \ The One Who Is hears it.
He makes a little wind strong. \ He hears it.
He makes the small wind strong \ He is hearing it
The little wind is strengthened. \ He begins to hear.
Now the breeze is stronger. \ His hearing begins.
The strength suddenly becomes windy... \ His listening begins.
The strength becomes as swift as the wind... \ He starts to hear. <-
"A strong thing, it grows swift as the wind... \ A soul begins to hear,=
What you hear in the stream may feed you.
What you hear in the stream might feed you
What one hears in the stream gives nourishment
The stream giving sustenance is what she always hears
They tend to hear that stream gives food
They hear that the stream gives good food.
They hear that a good river gives food.
They hear the stream give good food
She hears the good river give food.
She hears a river which gives much food
The water that gives good food, she hears it.
The water which produces good food, She listens to it
The water that creates good food; HE hears that water
The water makes good food: the One Who Is hears about that.
The water makes food to grow. \ The One Who Is hears it.
Water grows food. \ He hears it.
The water grows the food
The water makes the food grow.
The water grows food.
Water makes food greater.
<- Water enlarges the meal.
<- water gives sustenance.
What you hear at the keyhole may make you heartsick.
What you listen to through a keyhole could sicken your soul
What one listens to through the screen sickens the heart
The separation saddening the belly is what she always listens to
They tend to listen that separation saddens the belly
They hear that the separation saddens the belly.
They hear that separation saddens the stomach.
They hear banishment sadden the guts
She hears the great unhappiness of exile.
Because unwanted distance causes great unhappiness for She who listens
Because the unwanted distance, it causes unhappiness to her that listen=
Because of the unwanted distance, listening She is made unhappy
HE is made unhappy by the unwanted distance
The One Who Is grows unhappy with the unwanted distance.
The One Who Is is far away, so grows sad.
He hears from afar and begins to be sad.
He hears it in the distance and is about to be slightly sad \ He is hea=
He hears from afar and he is a little sad. \ He begins to hear.
He hears afar; he saddens a little. \ His hearing begins.
He listens to those far away, he becomes slightly sad. \ His listening =
Hearing this distant thing, he grows unhappy, and stops listening.
Hearing a far-off thing, one is anxious, and closes up his ears.
Praise! Give praise to the ears of Bastet.
Give praise, give praise to Bastet's ears!
Praise, praise the ears of Bastet!
Praise, praise to the ears of Qunayir
Praise, praise to Broken Legs ears
Let's praise them! Let's praise Asclepios's ears!
Let us exalt, exalt Rodhr=E9l's ears!
Let us praise, praise the Mother's ears!
You and I should both praise the Great Mother's ears.
Let us declare that the Great Mother's ears are good at listening
Then let's declare that the great mother listens to us well
Then let us declare than the great mother listens to us well
Therefore, let us say that the godlike father hears us well
Therefore we must say that the Greatfather hears us well.
Therefore we say: "O Great Father, \ You must truly hear us."
Thus we say: "O, Father \ Hear us well!"
Therefore we say "Father, you are hearing us well"
Because of this we say, "Our Father, you hear us well".
Because of this, I say, "O My Father, You hear us with favor."
Me, it causes (my) mouth to tell, \ - O my father! Listen to me benefi=
This compels me to say, "Oh, my creation, hear that I am good!"
I will say: 'O my creation! I want you to hear that I am a good thing!=
What you see in the woods may feed your family.
What you see in the forest might feed your family
What one sees in the woods feeds the household
The forest strengthening the household is what she always sees
They tend to see that the forest strengthens the home
They see that the forest strengthens the house.
They see that trees strengthen the house.
They see the trees strengthen the house
She sees the tree give strength to the home.
She sees the tree (or wood) that strengthens the home
The tree that gives strength to the home, she sees it
The tree that strengthens the home, She sees it
The tree that makes the house strong; HE sees that tree
The tree makes the house healthy: the One Who Is sees that.
The tree makes healthy the home. \ The One Who Is sees it.
Trees make a healthy house. \ He sees it.
The tree makes the house healthy \ He is seeing it
The tree makes the house healthy. \ He begins to hear.
The tree makes a house healthy. \ His hearing begins.
A tree improves a house. \ His listening begins.
The tree strengthens the house. He starts to hear.
A tree grows, one hears. **5
What you see under the bed may scare your children.
What you see under your bed might scare your children
What one sees under the bed frightens the children
The fear enveloping the child in the dark is what she always sees
They tend to see that the fear covers the child's darkness.
They see that the fear covers the child's darkness.
They see that fear covers the darkness of a child.
They see a child's fear envelop the dark
She sees the darkness enclosed by the child's fear.
She sees the child who covers darkness with fear
The child that covers the darkness with fear, she sees him/her
The child, which darkness covers with fear, She sees it
The child that is frightened by the night; He sees that child
The child is frightened by night: the One Who Is sees that.
The child fears the night. \ The One Who Is sees it.
Children fear the dark. \ He sees it.
Children are afraid of the night \ He is seeing it
Each child fears the night. \ He begins to hear.
All the children fear the night. \ His seeing begins.
A youngster fears all, and darkness. \ His gaze begins.
Children fear the dark. He starts to see.
Children fear the dark, but an adult begins to see.
What you inspect through your neighbor's window may cool your wife to y=
What you see through your neighbor's little window could make your wife=
What one looks at through the neighbour's little window makes one's spo=
The neighbour's riches that makes the wife's husband break his love is =
always looks at
They tend to look at the richness of the neighbour that breaks the wife=
for her husband
They see the richness that breaks the spouse's love for his/her spouse.=
They see precious wealth, which brings down the love between spouses.
They see the wealth that ends a married couple's love
She sees the wealth which ends the sexual love between two family membe=
She sees the end of lovers' passion
The end of the passion of the lovers, she sees it
The end of the love of couples, She sees it
HE sees the end of lovers' loving
The One Who Is sees the couple after mating.
The Great Father sees the coupling of spouses.
The great father sees that we have sex with our mate.
Our Great Father sees that we are mating
Our Godfather begins to see as we marry.
My Father's sight begins, as we marry.
My father, his gaze began, and then I married.
My creation begins to see that we are married.
My creation will see that we are wedded, I and she.
Praise! Give praise to the vision of Bastet.
Give praise, give praise to Bastet's vision!
Praise, praise the eyes of Bastet!
Praise, praise to the eyes of Qunayir
Praise, praise to Broken Leg's eyes.
Let's praise them! Let's praise Asclepios's eyes!
Let us exalt, exalt Rodhr=E9l's eyes!
Let us praise, praise the Mother's eyes!
You and I should both praise the Great Mother's eyes.
Let us declare that the Great Mother's eyes are good at seeing
So let's declare that the great mother sees well.
So let us declare that the great mother sees us well
Therefore, let us say that the godlike father sees us well
Therefore we must say that the Greatfather sees us well.
Therefore we say: "O Great Father, \ You must truly see us."
Thus we say: "O, Father \ See us well!"
Therefore we say "Father, you are seeing us well"
Because of this we say, "Our Father, you see us well".
Because of this, I say, "O My Father, You see us with favor."
Me, it causes (my) mouth to tell, \ - O my father! Gaze at me benefici=
This compels me to say, "Oh, my creation, see that I am good!"
I will say: 'O my creation! I want you to see that I am a good thing!"=
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