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Re: Essentialist Explanations, 9.1th edition

From:Steg Belsky <draqonfayir@...>
Date:Monday, June 2, 2003, 22:37
On Sun, 1 Jun 2003 20:33:15 -0400 John Cowan <cowan@...>
> > -- > John Cowan
- Hmm... some of the Modern Hebrew ones sound a bit more... scornful than humorous... How about these: Modern Hebrew is essentially Ashkenazic Hebrew as spoken by Sephardim. Modern Hebrew is essentially Sephardic Hebrew as spoken by Ashkenazim. Modern Israeli Hebrew is essentially all previous stages of Hebrew relexified into British English with all the words changed to end in "-atziya". Ladino is essentially Spanish vowels with Portuguese consonants written in Hebrew by people living in the Netherlands and Turkey. Spanish is essentially Japanese with a few consonant clusters added to fool you into thinking it's Romance. New York City Syrian Jewish English is essentially Arabic curses and bad Ebonics spoken with a Brooklyn accent. Standard Arabic is essentially Biblical Hebrew with a few more consonants. Biblical Hebrew is essentially Standard Arabic with a few consonants lost at the bottom of the Reed Sea. Talmudic Aramaic is essentially Arabic at the dentist ("say 'aaaaa...'") trying to be Hebrew but dropping the wrong consonants. Ancient Egyptian is essentially a picture book. Chinese is essentially a picture book drawn by people who forgot they were drawing pictures. Yeshivish is essentially English spoken by people who think they're speaking Yiddish. on to conlangs... Gabwe is essentially creaky voice. Gabwe is essentially backwards English grammar and badly-disguised English morphemes written in Korean by someone who doesn't know Korean. Judajca is essentially Latin that's been circumcised. Rokbeigalmki is essentially Hebrew and English's alien love child spoken by half-Elven Polynesian Klingons who think it's Lojban. -Stephen (Steg) "...i took a cane from a blind man, and i tasted the fruit in the garden of eden; when i walk out of here, you know i'll stand clear but the taste in my mouth still remains, still remains..." ~ 'eden' by guster