Re: Essentialist Explanations, 9.1th edition
| From: | Steg Belsky <draqonfayir@...> |
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| Date: | Monday, June 2, 2003, 22:37 |
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On Sun, 1 Jun 2003 20:33:15 -0400 John Cowan <cowan@...>
writes:
-
Hmm... some of the Modern Hebrew ones sound a bit more... scornful than
humorous...
How about these:
Modern Hebrew is essentially Ashkenazic Hebrew as spoken by Sephardim.
Modern Hebrew is essentially Sephardic Hebrew as spoken by Ashkenazim.
Modern Israeli Hebrew is essentially all previous stages of Hebrew
relexified into British English with all the words changed to end in
"-atziya".
Ladino is essentially Spanish vowels with Portuguese consonants written
in Hebrew by people living in the Netherlands and Turkey.
Spanish is essentially Japanese with a few consonant clusters added to
fool you into thinking it's Romance.
New York City Syrian Jewish English is essentially Arabic curses and bad
Ebonics spoken with a Brooklyn accent.
Standard Arabic is essentially Biblical Hebrew with a few more
consonants.
Biblical Hebrew is essentially Standard Arabic with a few consonants lost
at the bottom of the Reed Sea.
Talmudic Aramaic is essentially Arabic at the dentist ("say 'aaaaa...'")
trying to be Hebrew but dropping the wrong consonants.
Ancient Egyptian is essentially a picture book.
Chinese is essentially a picture book drawn by people who forgot they
were drawing pictures.
Yeshivish is essentially English spoken by people who think they're
speaking Yiddish.
on to conlangs...
Gabwe is essentially creaky voice.
Gabwe is essentially backwards English grammar and badly-disguised
English morphemes written in Korean by someone who doesn't know Korean.
Judajca is essentially Latin that's been circumcised.
Rokbeigalmki is essentially Hebrew and English's alien love child spoken
by half-Elven Polynesian Klingons who think it's Lojban.
-Stephen (Steg)
"...i took a cane from a blind man,
and i tasted the fruit in the garden of eden;
when i walk out of here, you know i'll stand clear
but the taste in my mouth still remains, still remains..."
~ 'eden' by guster