Re: CHAT: OT CHAT: Asperger's syndrome

Christophe Grandsire wrote:

> At 16:58 23/06/00 -0500, you wrote:
> >
> >The ability to discern the motives for people's actions -- anyone's, whether
> >your own or others' -- is one of the most important lifeskills one can
> >acquire, IMHO.  On a purely pragmatic level, it saves you a lot of pain, but it can
> >also be a fascinating intellectual exercise in itself.
>
> But it can become annoying. My boyfriend used to be be a psychiatrist and
> kept from it the custom to analyse everyone's moods and reactions, even
> mine (and I don't like to be seen like a guinea pig, especially by my
> boyfriend). It can be useful, that's true, but sometimes it's annoying
> (especially when he doesn't want to recognize he's wrong :)) ).
Oh, certainly it can be annoying.  But when I meant analyzing people, I did
not mean to imply that these analyses should always be voiced.  Indeed,
the improper voicing of analyses can be very destructive when you're
dealing with the wrong people or at the wrong time. For example, if someone's
having a nervous breakdown, it often helps *not* to talk to them about whatever's
causing the breakdown, but about something they enjoy.  Unless that person's
behavior seems like it will immanently harm either themselves or others (such as
becoming suicidal, homicidal, or about to cause extreme mental anguish to others),
often it should be saved for times when it is explicitly asked for.  If the individual
is wholly in denial about an issue, sometimes speaking about a third-party in an
analogous situation and never mentioning the discussee's own problem in that
context will start to ring bells in their minds.  If not, then one cannot always do
something, except to be there as a friend.

I'm sorry... I don't mean to speak ex cathedra or anything.  I'm not a trained
psychologist, but these seem like common-sensical things to do.

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Tom Wier <artabanos@...>
ICQ#: 4315704   AIM: trwier
"Cogito ergo sum, sed credo ergo ero."
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