Re: CHAT: RPGs (was Re: Wargs)

[ there *is* some bona fide conlang content in my post.... ]

Boudewijn Rempt writes:
 > On Wed, 10 Nov 1999, Brook Conner wrote:
 >
 > > There are some people on the net who in fact follow this usage. I.e.,

[...]

 > > polyamorous - any or all of the above, plus other stuff too.
 >
 > I wonder what those people on the net would make from the Charyan sexual
 > mores...  Male partner is _umir_, female partner is _yumir_, making love
 > is _yavai_, lover _qaivan_ and the ideal marriage, _yemaran_ is between
 > three people; i.e. not one man with a harem of wives, or a woman with a
 > 'hissem' of men - and both sexes must be represented, because in
 > infertile marriage is a shame.

Poly people (poly being short for polyamorous, when context is clear)
would call this a triad. It is widely seen as one of the more stable
forms of group marriage - a particularly strong arrangement is two
bisexuals of one gender and one heterosexual of the other.

But most poly people would be of the opinion that people should get to
choose what relationship arrangement they desire.  Requirements or
ideals (at least, in terms of an "ideal" structure) in relationships
tend to push poly buttons.  E.g., there are all-male triads and
all-female triads. There are larger groups and smaller groups. Some
groups are highly fidelitous (no sex outside the group) while others
are fairly open (though most have some sort of standard on latex
usage). Some people agree on what kinds of activity can and cannot
occur inside or outside the group.

Inside/outside isn't even necessarily accurate itself. Poly people
often adopt the following "levels" of involvement (though even this is
contentious):

primary - life partner, spouse, live-in lover, soul-mate, etc.
secondary - "steady", strongly romantic lover, etc.
tertiary - "fuck-buddy", just dating, just friends, just lovers, etc.

Generally, though, the thought is that if everyone involved agrees to
something, then, great.  If someone *else* has a family arrangement
(for some loose definition of family) that isn't your cup of tea,
well, great. More power to them, so long as they're happy. Polys were
pretty uniformly disgusted and/or annoyed at the tremendous amount of
press Clinton's sexual escapades attracted (markedly more than the
general public). The thinking tended to run "Bill may have an
understanding with Hillary. Even if he doesn't, it's their own goddam
business. Why do you care so much?"

ObConlang - Poly people frequently come upon problems of language,
there being very few (if any) widely known terms that accurately
capture exactly (or sometimes even approximately) what is and is not
going on.  I've brought this up on the lojban list, but don't feel
like I've fully addressed it (although, lojbab, your comments were
most helpful).

Simple example: my husband (coming from a man). May be understood in
gay/lesbian circles but gets a double-take elsewhere.

Trickier example: my wife's boyfriend or my wife's girlfriend (with full
sexual connotations).

More obtuse: my co-husband.

Yet trickier: my intimate network,

Just unsure what to say: all the people I consider family, whether or
not I sleep with them or not, including the kids, etc.  Sometimes
people use "Family", sometimes "clan."  Certain groups name
themselves, e.g., the Busy House and the White House (no, not 1600
Penn - most prominent member has "White" as part of her screen name)
are two of the more prominent groups in the New York area.


co'o mi'e brukcr

---------
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

---------
Fancy. Myth. Magic.
http://www.concentric.net/~nellardo/