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Sent to me from Georgia

From:JJB <jjbowks@...>
Date:Sunday, October 3, 1999, 17:13
Sawthan Slang
> >The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland cashed in >by labeling African American slang as the language >"Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of the seemingly >endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating >Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be >taught in all Southern schools. > >A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The >following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English >dictionary: > >HEIDI - noun. Greeting. > >HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. >Usage: Heidi, hire yew?" > >BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." >Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." > >JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is >Lanner. >Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." > >BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is >Berminhayum. >Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left >$20,000,000 in improvements." > >MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. >Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I >ain't herd from him in munts." > >THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process. >Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." > >IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Alabama native." >Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!" > >RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. >Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup >truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." > >ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. >Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my >pickup truck." > >FAR - noun. A conflagration. >Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my >pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." > >TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. >Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't >git a flat tar in my pickup truck." > >TIRE - noun. A tall monument. >Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do >hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." > >RETARD - Verb. To stop working. >Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." > >FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in >battle or combat. >Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh." > >FARN - adjective. Not local. >Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from >some farn country." > >DID - adjective. Not alive. >Usage: "He's did, Jim." > >EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen. >Usage: "He cain't breathe....give 'im some ear!" > >BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. >Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." > >JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. >Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job >th that bob war fence cump'ny?" > >HAZE - a contraction. >Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't >thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf." > >SEED - verb, past tense of "to see." > >VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. >Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?" > >GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. >Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert." > > >_______________________________________________________________ >Get your free e-mail / e-card account that helps save wildlife! > > > >