Sent to me from Georgia
|Date:||Sunday, October 3, 1999, 17:13|
>The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland cashed in
>by labeling African American slang as the language
>"Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of the seemingly
>endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating
>Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be
>taught in all Southern schools.
>A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The
>following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English
>HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
>HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
>Usage: Heidi, hire yew?"
>BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
>Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
>JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is
>Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
>BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is
>Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left
>$20,000,000 in improvements."
>MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
>Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I
>ain't herd from him in munts."
>THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
>Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Alabama native."
>Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
>RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
>Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup
>truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
>ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
>Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my
>FAR - noun. A conflagration.
>Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my
>pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
>TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
>Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't
>git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
>TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
>Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do
>hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
>RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
>Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
>FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in
>battle or combat.
>Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
>FARN - adjective. Not local.
>Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from
>some farn country."
>DID - adjective. Not alive.
>Usage: "He's did, Jim."
>EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
>Usage: "He cain't breathe....give 'im some ear!"
>BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
>Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
>JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
>Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job
>th that bob war fence cump'ny?"
>HAZE - a contraction.
>Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't
>thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."
>SEED - verb, past tense of "to see."
>VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
>Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?"
>GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
>Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
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