Re: Spousal names

On Fri, 27 Oct 2000, Irina Rempt wrote:

> On Thu, 26 Oct 2000, Yoon Ha Lee wrote:
>
> > On Thu, 26 Oct 2000, Carlos Thompson wrote:
>
> > > Yoon Ha Lee wrote:
>
> > > > One of my HS classmates didn't
> > > > understand me, because she thought taking a husband's
> > > > name was "romantic" (and there's nothing wrong with
> > > > that POV if you don't try to force it one me).
>
> I use Boudewijn's name, not because it's romantic, but because it
> happens to be a lot better than my maiden name, which I was
> thoroughly fed up with. It gives me *trouble*; people expect married
> women to be "modern" use their own name and I have to go to great
> lengths to convince official institutions that, yes, I want them to
> address me as "Rempt" or, if they have to, "Rempt-Drijfhout". I'm
> proud to be married, and glad to be married to someone with a decent
> name :-)
Gosh, I'd never even thought that your dilemma with the officials would
be possible!  <bonking self on head for being narrow-minded>

If I had a last name I *didn't* like, I would be happy to change to a
husband's.  This is not the case.  :-p

> > <nod>  I *believe* that in the U.S. a wife is not legally required to
> > take her husband's name, but a) a lot of people don't know this and b)
> > most would probably do so out of tradition anyway.
>
> In the Netherlands, a married woman has the right to use her
> husband's name, but one's legal name stays the maiden name (suffixed
> with "spouse of..." if necessary). It turns out to be very hard to
> exercise that right when dealing with officialdom.
Hmm.  I don't know how easy/hard it is in the U.S. *not* to use the
husband's name.  I know my parents occasionally used to get mail
addressed to "Dr. and Mrs. Kyung Po Lee" (where "Kyung Po Lee" is my
dad's name).  I wonder what those addressers would've done with a married
couple of two doctors (medical or philosophical or otherwise).

> > God forbid I would *ever* subject any of my kids, if I had any, to that
> > sort of confusion!  I'm bad enough with names as it stands.  =^)
>
> When we found out we were having twins, we'd already decided on
> "Rebecca" for a girl, and we didn't want to call the other one Rachel
> (a fine name otherwise) to spare them having the same initial.
:-)  While I think the Korean "share-a-syllable-out-of-two" tradition is
poetic, sharing the *first* syllable confuses lots of Americans.  I'm
thinking the 2nd syllable wouldn't.  =^)

YHL