Re: Essentialist Explanations, 8.0 edition
|From:||Dan Seriff <microtonal@...>|
|Date:||Sunday, June 24, 2001, 16:58|
English is essentially a language that no one speaks in France.
French is essentially the language that Americans don't learn before
Hungarian is essentially a Scotch snap with double-long rounded vowels.
Hungarian is essentially all counterintuitive consonant pairings.
Finnish is essentially Hungarian spoken while drunk, freezing, and morose.
Sami is essentially Hungarian spoken while drunk, freezing, and standing
next to a reindeer.
Mungayöd is essentially German, Latin, and Greek put through a blender.
King James English is essentially the language that many Americans think
Jesus spoke. If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!
Biblical Aramaic is essentially Biblical Hebrew with a lithp.
Classical Latin is essentially Liturgical Latin with correct pronunciation.
Conversely, Liturgical Latin is essentially Classical Latin with all
initial consonants pronounced as affricates.
Old Church Slavonic is essentially the language that comes out when the
basses sing a low C.
Dog is essentially a language spoken while begging for food.
Cat is essentially a language spoken while begging for food, destroying
the furniture, and puking on the carpet, all while high on catnip.
Honesty means never having to say "Please don't flush me down the toilet!"
- Bob the Dinosaur