Re: Translating from a conlang into a conlang

Boudewijn Rempt <bsarempt@...> wrote:

> The text:
>=20
> Xipu! Manxuri penerar
> Sero t'erneno beryakari yashnar
> Yan t'eheranmamen t'imti esero u?
> Galla esero ka chenam ye bangu
> "Sero laya", Yudirza yetashmerzo
> P'a ajir avaneranmamen sero
> Tima lyn sero lodha manve.

Here's an attempt, in Drasel=E9q:

Tum! I p=FCltamth bramek                        Poom! Plums they fall
I dremh=FCntel aouth ladhet             Thirteen wells I have
g=EDmnilaqai b=FCtth san =FCth=E1n!             who will ask for my heart!
P=E0ql=F3n ven san nedhuar                      Thick and black is my hair
Sar qgast, bur Nollalvet                Me, I'm beautiful, says Eldersister
Sarn i ieden qg=E9dnerai k=FCr=E1th             Someone give now some silk to me
per rrap okles s=ECn qgast.             for I'm beautiful like a cherry flower.


Interlinearly speaking:

PRT =3D partitive particle
FUT =3D future, ACT =3D actual present
SUBJ =3D subjunctive, desiderative
REL =3D relative pronoun
FEM =3D semi-fossil feminine infix -(a)v(a)-
ACC =3D accusative/dative, GEN =3D genitive


Tum! I   p=FCltamth bramek
     PRT plums    fall.3p

I   dremh=FCntel aouth ladhet
PRT thirteen   wells have.1s

g=EDmnilaqai    b=FCtth san =FCth=E1n!
ask_for.3sFUT 3pREL my  heart.ACC

P=E0ql=F3n   ven      san nedhuar
thick.3s black.3s my  head_hair

Sar qgast,       bur    Nollalvet
1s  beautiful.1s say.3s Old-FEM-sibling

Sarn   i   ieden qg=E9dnerai       k=FCr=E1th
1s.ACC PRT silk  give.SUBJ.3sACT someone        ("give silk" =3D "court")

per rrap okles      s=ECn    qgast.
cos like cherry.GEN flower beautiful.1s


How's that?
I took your _yashnar_ to mean springs =3D "wells", but that
doesn't seem to make sense. Is there an explanation
for that sentence?

Note: There's a lot of dislocation in the sentences,
both for emphasis and to keep a certain rhythm in the
verses. Drasel=E9q is usually VSO, but SV and OV are quite
common in songs and idioms. One particular pattern,
_i <direct object> <verb> (<indirect object>)_ is used
for dative constructions; the "dative" indirect object
is marked for accusative, while the direct object
("accusative" in a Latin-like lang) is unmarked. This
has spread to a particular kind of verbs, including
_ladhden_ "to have", and many verbs of perception and
others, for example "see", "eat", "make" (in certain
places, like _i g=ECs g=FCften_ "_i_ fruit make" =3D "to give
fruit, to bear fruit" (a tree).

I have no way to render a high grade honorific pronoun or
an affective aspect, so most of the feeling is lost in
the translation, I guess. I have a deference marker for
verbs which I could use for the flattering mood (it
would transform _bur_ "says (Eldersister)" into _b=FArsasuv_.
I also have an informal speech marker, maybe for your
affective aspect (_qg=E9dnervitai_ "may [someone] give").

That's all I can do!


--Pablo Flores

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
En gian idgrivar fr=FAmneltel frasi=E9rraser gian pavonn
be i malladhar siqged=FCer.

"Don't blame your enemy for your disgrace=20
 if you've just given them a chance."

(Traditional Dr=E1selhadh saying)