First Translation in Zanona-ye (Sawelendere): Correctionsand Comments

As I said when I posted the first part, it is very provisional,and I caught
several errors afterward.
The language name itself should be Sawelenedere, as one of the
Rihana-ye-influenced spelling rules forbids consonant clusters. Some of the bers in the
first text also require more vowels e.g. segenetu. Another Rihana-ye rule is that
all syllables are CV, so the Proto-Sawelenedere (simplified Proto-IE) roots
beginning with initial vowels all add an initial consonant, normally h (which
may not actually be pronounced). Hence the words I wrote in my specimen as
upere, ekawum, ene,  and enke should be regularized to hupere, hekawum, hene and
heneke.(The last one also adding a vowel).
The words also generally follow the Rihana-ye rule that verbs end in o
(though as Sawelenedere, unlike Rihana-ye, is inflected, this is only true in the
first person sing.),adjectives in i and prepositions (Rihana-ye relationals) end
in e. In nouns, however, most Sawelenedere nouns end in u in the nom.sing.;
only a small
declension ends in a (the standard Rihana-ye noun ending); and again,
Sawelenedere
nouns (unlike Rihana-ye nouns) are declined,so the endings vary with the case.
Sawelenedere noun declensions and verb conjugations in actuality derive from
a very
simplified version of Latin, as I do not know enough of Proto-IE to derive
them with historical accuracy from Proto-IE.
I offer herewith a continuation of the opening of the Theogony:

Tone setegenet(u) hene nebe werepenete
Then they rise in cloud wrapped
Heneke hene neketo hatenet(u) kaner(e)
And in night they go to sing
Kesune wokis(u) lufis(u) hegisun(u)  berenete Diyus(u) deso
With voices lovely shield-bearing Sky god (to)
Heneke potiya rega hene sanadalis(u) karusis(u)
and lady queen in golden sandals
heneke seleyi hoki dagutera Diyus desus egisun berenete
and blue eyed daughter of Sky God shield-bearing
Saweludesu heneke Lukadesa hene arawis(u) gudenete
Sungod and Moongoddess in arrows rejoicing
Heneke Moriyedesu gemun(u) segenete
And Seagod earth holding
heneke deruyi desa megiweragi
and true goddess greatly trusted
heneke wenudesa hokisu ludenete
and desiregoddess with eyes playing
Karusi wereti Yuwenidesa
Goldenwreathed Youthgoddess
Moriyidesa, tone Sawelmatera
Seagoddess, then Sunmother,
heneke wari Holidesu, Hayera, megi Sawelu,
And crooked Oldgod, Morning, great Sun
Haragi Luka, Gemudesa heneke poti Moriya
Bright Moon. Earthgoddess and strong Sea,
heneke tereme nekeri Neketu
and lastly black Night
heneke hali neduyi desi semepere gewigeneti
and all immortal gods always living
suma ta saka tehuta.
 all the holy tribe.

Again, I avoided actual Greek god names, which caused some problems, as I
described Apollo as Sungod and Artemis as Moongoddess, which are popular
simplifications, and then had to translate the actual Greek gods Helios (sun) and
Selene (moon.)

John Leland