Ass metonymy (WAS: a bad essay)

This looks suspicious to me:

> If a koala goes in the water it won't be able to breathe with its little short
> ass. It'd fucking drown soon aas it take one step into the water. While they
> at the river trying to get something to drink a bear could just come to him
> and snatch its ass up. It doesn't know protection because they don't have
> protection. What they little ass going to do? It can't scratch him. The bear
> will beat his fucking ass.
Namely, "What they little ass going to do?".

It seems to me that this ass-metonymy is invalid even in AAVE
("African American Vernacular English" - an academic's way to say
"ebonics"), though the other instances are.

It's hard for me to articulate why though. Something to do with
agentivity, I think; one can say e.g. "you best sit yo ass on the
curb" or "I'mma make yo ass do [something]". But one can't say e.g.
"yo ass just stepped up".

Comment or correction from those of you who've dealt with this more
(either by living in the right neighborhoods or studying them)?

- Sai

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