Meanings (fwd)

More from the Department of Silly Words...

- andrew.

Andrew Smith, Intheologus                       hobbit@earthlight.co.nz

        Lo! thy dread empire, Chaos! is restored;
        Light dies before thy uncreating word:
        Thy hand, great Anarch! lets the curtain fall;
        And Universal Darkness buries All.
                        - Alexander Pope, The Dunciad, Book IV.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
The Washington Post recently had a  contest for readers in which they were
asked to supply  suggested meanings for various words. The following  were
some of the winning entries  ...

Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a  flat stomach.

Carcinoma--n., a valley in California,  notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade--v., to attempt an  explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly--adj.,  impotent.

Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much  weight you have gained.

Negligent--adj., describes a  condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in  your nightie.

Lymph--v., to walk with a  lisp.

Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored  mouthwash.

Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus  driver.

Coffee--n., a person who is coughed  upon.

Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks  you up after you are run
over by a  steamroller.

Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding  hairline.

Testicle--n., a humorous question on an  exam.

Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor  assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he or she  examines  you.

Marionettes--n., residents of Washington who have  been jerked around  by
the mayor.

Oyster--n., a person  who sprinkles his conversation with  Yiddish
expressions.

Circumvent--n., the  opening in the front of boxer shorts.