Re: Common words for man & husband, woman & wife (was: Brothers-in-law)

Yahya Abdal-Aziz wrote:

> Malay has two words adopted from the time most
> Malays were Hindus:
>  suami = husband
>  isteri = wife
> These are still the polite terms.  In common speech,
> however, one often hears:
>  laki = husband
>  bini = wife
> Although I believe these to be older terms, they are
> considered rather coarse.
I'm glad to see my speculations (see my earlier msg.) confirmed by a native
speaker. (I gather you are Malaysian, not Indonesian??)
>
> Other Malay kinship terms relevant to this question:
> (snip)
>  jantan = animal male (1)
>  betina = animal female
> (1) In the Brunei dialect of Malay, "jantan" is used
> for all males, whether animal or human.
These 2 are interesting. "Betina" presumably contains *ina 'mother', which
shows up in Polynesian langs. with the added t-; it isn't reconstructed for
PAN but probably should be.

"Jantan" I suspect is a Javanese kromo (higher status speech) form--there's
a whole raft of such forms in the Jav. dict., where one substitutes /-nt@n/
for the final [liquid (rl)+vowel] of the common-speech (ngoko) form-- thus <
Old Jav. jalu (~jant@n) 'man, husband' (Malayized to /jantan/; (not its
modern Jav. meaning, oddly ("cock's spur"), but still found in regional
langs. as a term for various male things.  Just one more such ex.: soré
'afternoon' ~sont@n; and very likely Ml/In. santan 'coconut oil' possibly
kromo < sari (~sant@n ??) 'essence'. (-nt@n for final -[rl]V is just one way
to make kromo forms.)

>Tuan = Mr.
Not used in Indonesia except as highly respectful (too many colonial-era
associations otherwise); Bapak ~Pak ('father') is usual
> Puan = Mrs.
I never heard this in Indonesia. Ibu ~Bu ('mother') is usual.
> Encik = Mr. OR Mrs.
In Indonesia, applied only to Chinese. (I'm told it is originally a Chinese
term)
>
> But for your information, the present
> Malay marriage customs incorporate both -
>
>  - a ceremony of Hindu origin, the "bersanding", in which
> the couple sit in state for a day, dressed to emulate
> royalty as well as the groom's family can afford, and
> receive guests and well-wishers, acting the part of "King
> & Queen for a day".  They even wear yellow, the colour
> normally reserved to royalty.  They should comport
> themselves with appropriate dignity, and their friends
> have great fun teasing them to try to make them smile;
> it can be quite an ordeal.
I never attended one, but this sounds a lot like the Bugis/Makassarese
practice (at least of old nobility/upper-class); there was also a Muslim
ceremony of course. Curiously, the wedding, which a friend attended, also
included some officiating _bissu_ -- the old pre-Islamic (!) priestly caste
of South Sulawesi.