TRANS: Seeing the light

This is the first poem in Carashán, presented here for your delectation. It
is a translation of the first canticle in the Book of the Prophet, which is
sort of like the Carastan New Testament (in that their holy book has two
parts and this is the more recent).

Cuinesét! Me cluodét!
    procuo los deis ferên lo meu serzo cue luoje.
Vueleu cue eu ve azise dea vida a deu caimar,
    de tato cu'es santo deivor.
Cu'es acue tato vuelein?
    acesto posco aêca ên lo meu serzo.
A ên lo meu serzo lo luotto veni,
    um luotto folazo, cue seisi los meus ecuis.
A ja spesei

Translation:
Gather around! Hear me!
    fo the gods have moved my heart to speak.
I want to tell you of life and of love,
    of all that is holy to the gods.
What is it that everone wants?
    this question laments in my heart.
And into my heart came the light,
    a bright light, which burned my eyes.
And indeed I saw.

Interlinar:
Cuinesét! Me cluodét!
>gather-3p.imp! me.dat listen-3p.imp
    procuo los deis ferên lo meu serzo cue luoje.
> because the gods make-3p.past the my heat that speak-3s.pres.subj
Vueleu cue eu ve azise dea vida a deu caimar,
> want-1s.pres that I you.dat say-1s.pres.subj of.the life and of.the
love-inf.
    de tato cu'es santo deivor.
> of all that is holy gods-dat/gen
Cu'es acue tato vuelein?
> [interrogative] is that[object] all want-3p.pres
    acesto posco aêca ên lo meu serzo.
> this question lament-3s.pres in the my heart.
A ên lo meu serzo lo luotto veni,
> and in the my heart the light come-3s.past
    um luotto folazo, cue seisi los meus ecuis.
> a light bright, which burn-3s.past the my.pl eyes
A ja spesei
> and [emphatic particle] see-1s.past
The "vueleu cue eu..." clause is quite odd, and adds to poetic effect, it
indicates that he really wants it to happen. A more normal phrasing would be
"vueleu aziserve",  with a prolative infinitive and a cliticised pronoun,
not a subjunctive subclause.

Comments? Translations?

Dan

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Lo deu nu preca êl'aisún necoui.  God prays at noone's altar.

Dan Jones: www.geocities.com/yl_ruil/
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