CHAT: R: Re: OT CHAT: Asperger's syndrome

Nik wrote:

> Adrian Morgan wrote:
> > That's typically how an asperger's person starts off, but
> > we typically do learn, piece by piece, how to interact
> > with the social complexity that is the human race.
>
> That sounds a bit like myself.  I wonder if I have that syndrome in some
> form.  Complicated by a depressive personality.
Wow, it seems we share the same mood, at various levels. It must be
conlanging... : ) Anyway I was very shy when I was young, but now I'm an
average reserved boy. I find difficult to talk to foreigners or to make new
friends, but it's surely not pathological.

> > And I find
> > it much easier to make friends on the Internet than in real
> > life - social interactions are just far too _dynamic_.
>
> That's me, too.  But it's not so much the "dynamic" quality, as I have
> no problem with real-time chatting, as a reluctance to *speak*.  I often
> find myself replying to a person in my head, but not being able to put
> it in my mouth, so to speak.
Here's the same. I simply would like to answer, but I'm not able to do it.

> > And put me in a room with lots of people talking to
> > each other all over the place and I just gotta escape.
> > Sensory overload has all sorts of nasty effects on my brain,
> > and all I can do is withdraw into a corner.
>
> I'm that way with strangers, but usually pretty comfortable with
> friends, at least for a while.  After a couple of hours or so, tho, I
> need space.
No, I could stay days with my *best* friends, but it's very difficult to
gain my friendship, because I can't bear people who behave as if they were 6
when they are 16 (as a lot of my classmates do).

> > Insistence on routine is a big part of asperger's, and one
> > that I have always been very conscious of.
>
> I used to have similar patterns, like I always had to give my mother a
> hug when I woke up and when I went to bed (even once feeling that I had
> to give her 14 hugs after a week's separation!).  And there's a strong
> preference for even numbers, especially powers of two.  I like to eat
> two or four cookies, not three.  Not so strong any more, but I do have
> obsessions with numbers and lists.
I had this passion for pair numbers when I was a little boy. I remember me
counting the steps from my house to my elementary school. Yet I remember i
always had to put the right foot before the left one when i entered a new
hall. Kinda stupid, I know, but I discovered even my sister has this
'passion' for pair numbers and right feet : )

> But routine is very important to me for reasons of depression - if I
> don't have a regular routine to get me out of bed in the morning, and
> force me to go somewhere, I'll quickly sink into depression.
Gosh, that's what I'm going into with these holidays. Fortunately I'm very
busy with my parrish in these days.

> > Speaking very much from
> > experience I can tell you that asperger's people often get
> > irritated with the way others take *us* literally all the
> > time.
>
> Aaargh!  Yes, THAT's a major pain in the neck for me.  I'll often make a
> joke, and people will think I've insulted them.  I've always assumed
> that it was because I'm a generally serious person, so they're not used
> to me making jokes.
Ok, me too. So you don't make jokes and you look the most boring person in
the world. That's what i feel.

>
> And I have a hard time accepting compliments, because people often give
> compliments just to be polite, so whenever someone compliments me, I
> think "they're just saying that".  Which is why I like to do things like
> helping to cook for student dinners at my church, or making cookies and
> giving them away - people are honest about food, if they don't like it,
> they may *say* they like it, but they won't go back for seconds.
> There's no feeling better than seeing people go back for seconds or
> thirds of what you made.  :-)
Yes that's true. I'm working with about 40 young boys every day in my
parrish, and we are at the oratory from 8.45 am to 4.30 pm, so when you see
them asking to repeat the game you proposed or coming to you smiling and
making you feel important, well, you *really* feel important.

Luca