Hebrew Poetry (was; Re; Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis)

On Mon, 18 Oct 1999 12:04:45 +0200 Dan Sulani <dnsulani@...>
writes:
> Steg wrote:
> >I don't know if i'm competent to write poetry in Hebrew :-) , but
> since i
> >started really doing it, English doesn't seem to work anymore for
> poetry.
> > I'm not sure why, maybe i've just learned so much more Hebrew
> poetry in
> >depth than English poetry that poetics has become associated with
> it.
>     Concentrated learning will tend to do that! :-)
> Anyhow, if you ever want to share some of your Hebrew poetry,
> I, for one, would love to read it.
>
> Dan Sulani
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, here's something....it has to do with coming up to Binghamton, and
since i'm continually annoyed that my computer doesn't work anymore since
i came up here (so i'm using my roommate's right now), i'll do that one.
It would probably make a good translation exercise for me to translate
into Rokbeigalmki (since it has to do with water), but i'd have to add a
lot of new words.

' = alef not word-initial
v = vet / vav
hh = hhet
tt = ttet
3 = `ayin
tz = tzadi
q = quf
sh = shin
ss = ssin
a = qohmatz / patahh
e = segol / shva
ei = tzeireh


~3AL GEDOT HA-SUSQUEHANNA~

ani yosheiv              3al gedot ha-susquehanna,
messahheiq bahhol        umistakeil letokh hamayim.
umei3ever lagalim        mabitta bi behhazara,
veyoshevet, demut        adam, behirat-3einayim.
ve'ani mitqareiv,        bizehirut shelo' epol,
umehhayeikh lah                  lidemuti, umeirim yad -
"shalom 3alayikh!"       ani qorei' eileha,
"shalom, demuti,                 tzalmi min hatzad!"
umin hamayim,            benoahh, uvesheqett muhhlatt,
tzurat "shalom"                  meishiv piha, le'att.

(it's supposed to look like two columns, if a fixed-width font isn't
coming out right)


and, since this is to the list, a quick English translation:

~On the Banks of the Susquehanna~

i sit / on the banks of the susquehanna,
playing in the sand / and looking into the water.
and beyond the waves / gazes back at me,
and sits, a human / form, with clear-bright eyes.
and i draw near, / carefully, so that i won't fall,
and smile to her / to my image, and raise a hand -
"peace be upon you!" / i call to her,
"peace, my form, / my image from the [other] side!"
and from the water, / leisurely, and in total silence,
the form of "peace" / does her mouth slowly return.

(_demut_, "form/image" is feminine in Hebrew; and _shalom_ means
"peace/hello/goodbye", and even though i translated it "peace" in all
places, when it's by itself, not 'peace be upon you', it has more of the
plain "hello" connotation)
(the broken phrase in line 4, "a human / form", in the Hebrew is actually
{FORM / HUMAN}, "a(the) form of / a human")
(in the third to last line, "my image" is a different word, _tzalmi_,
from _tzelem_ "form/image", as in _tzelem eloqim_, "the image of God")


-Stephen (Steg)
 "you can always tell when a zmirah was written by a sfardi - they rhyme
/O/ with /a/, dammit!"

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