Re: On nerds and dreamers

 --- Carsten Becker <naranoieati@...>
wrote:
> That is not only so in America. My impression as
> someone who's considered to be a geek,
> but "nevertheless a nice guy", has always been that
> either you're partying until you're physically
> exhausted each weekend, or you're a geek.
It looks like it's the same way in the entire Western
world; I was just talking to a French friend of mine
and he says it's like that in France, too.

> That's of course exaggerated, but I know some
> people for whom there's nothing greater in the
> world than partying.
Like the entire third floor of my dorm. A few months
ago, when a fire alarm went off and the entire hall
was evacuated, I made the remark to a friend that if
the flames reached the third floor, the entire
building would explode, due to the amount of alcohol
up there.

Fortunately, it was just a false alarm. It was
probably a few people smoking joints in their room,
and it tripped off the alarm :).

> Plus, even worse, if you say you strongly believe
> in Christianity. Or unusual, introverted hobbies
> like reading, conlanging, drawing/photography,
> playing a classical instrument that is not suitable
> for bands like in my case the classical guitar, ...
> you get the point.
I understand fully what you mean. My problem is that
I'm stuck between two worlds: the religious and the
secular. Religiously, I'm an enthusiastic Christian. I
read the Bible. I pray. I go to a church group every
week and worship with them.

But I don't feel at home with them. It seems that all
they're interested in is God and football, and while
I'm obsessed with God, football is utterly boring to
me. Apart from shared religious beliefs, we can't talk
about anything else, and since my beliefs can be a bit
dissident, even those are often not shared.

And it's the same in the secular sphere as well. Most
of my friends are atheists or agnostics, despite some
tension. I like them because they're geeks like me,
but feel uncomfortable because they often do
activities I consider sinful or at least ill-advised,
such as drinking or premarital sex.

As the saying goes, I'm damned both ways.

> My family recently went to the psychatrist's to
> help my little brother (13) to better get in touch
> with the people in his class and to find out the
> reason why he raises his finger so little although
> he knows the right answer most of the time -- after
> all, he's still got 3 years to go until he'll be
> ready with Realschule.
Reminds me of me when I was in grade school. I knew
the answer, often before the teacher asked the
question. But the quickest way to estrange yourself
(at least in America) from your classmates is to get
the reputation for knowing all the answers in class.
You become a 'know-it-all', and people think you're
arrogant and kissing-up to the teacher.

Then they resent you and when they _do_ interact with
you, you're nothing but a walking cheatsheet for them.
I eventually stopped letting them copy my work and get
answers from of me, because I didn't want to be a
doormat anymore, and when I did that, I gained a
reputation for being an asshole!

Assertive geeks have problems, too. In high school, I
had self-confidence, but after years of not getting
anywhere with it, I lost it totally and withdrew. Now
that I'm in college, my self-esteem is improving
greatly, but I still feel 'outside looking in'.


	

	
		
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