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Re: "Verimak": jumping into the translation marathon

From:FFlores <fflores@...>
Date:Thursday, May 13, 1999, 18:59
Well, Sally and all, here is my Drasel=E9q version
of "Verimak". The added spaces in your texts are
from my private gloss of your text (then removed).

Funil fremp

 Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser baises n=ECfn
 q=FC l=F3sfiones gi=F2rres qgorrokan.
 Sipall=FCer gian =F3lmon=FCr rriestn,
 Gian olmas na faik sis=E4n=FCer,
 sifadh=FCer gian s=FCnokan.
 G=E1leftel p=E4mth mi tidhmanth,
 rrap hol=F3muanthes gerronth
 na i tolqith g=E8n iob=E1naiek.

 Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser =E9nqgronthes gestautan;
 smasin tark dantres qan=F2nos =E4`r;
 en imalain en br=E8ras frat=E1raser;
 en giad qes pos=F3v sqa raian.
 Qgumpor, skelek, naias,
 farb=FAn g=E8n senek omb=FC'rth,
 farb=FAn na i tolqith iob=E1naiek.

 Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser t=E1nq=FCapes sl=E0tn
 q=FC giadn n=FC'roster tank=FCv.
 Fram=FC=E9naser q=FCnvogan su assilopes idhkanst.
 Sipaller gian ailar gian ernar.
 Titht iednonth, i t=FArsentan, i tursel:
 en anth perisk=FAsaiek,
 farb=FAn na i tolqith iob=E1naiek.

Funil fremp ahead never "Never again" The title was tricky, but I think this is a proper translation. _Funil_ means "ahead, forth, advancing in time or space". The <p> in _fremp_ is usually elided so it doesn't sound so ugly.
> > Kale ilid vepat verimak vrydaf
Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser baises n=ECfn ahead never fear.2sFUT sun.GEN heat.ACC "Never henceforth fear you the heat of the sun" (remember FUTure =3D IMPerative when in 2nd person).
> ro* nivvuo*rod ilid tenuo tehsat.
q=FC l=F3sfiones gi=F2rres qgorrokan. or cold-season.GEN wrath.GEN infuriation.ACC =20 "or the fury of the winter's wrath." (_qgorrokan_ is from an adjectival verbal stem, meaning "being furious").
> Fy fyl ofykya takremait uarfy ritimika,
Sipall=FCer gian =F3lmon=FCr rriestn, PRF.achieve.2sPST your world.LOC work.ACC "You have achieved your worldly job," (_rriest_ is a formal word, meaning a very important task and the effort needed to complete it).
> uarfy hovikary eua,
Gian olmas na faik sis=E4n=FCer, your home to here PRF.go.2sPST "You have gone home," (The standard syntax has been relaxed in the interest of rhythm. The sentence should be _Na gian olmas sis=E4n=FCer_. This use is not uncommon in spoken Drasel=E9q, however; the focus ("your home") is dislocated and later replaced by a corresponding pronoun ("here").
> fyl rilbet uarfy uena.
sifadh=FCer gian s=FCnokan. PRF.take.2sPST your reward.ACC "You have taken your reward." _fadhden_ originally means "to open", then shifted to "accept" ("to open in order to let sbdy/sthg in"). It indicates that you take something that is there for you. _s=FCnokan_ << _s=FCnoks=FCn_ "to reward, to compensate" (it implies to pay for something).
> Beto*n orwemaht jetan-jo,
G=E1leftel p=E4mth mi tidhmanth, golden girls and youngsters.MALE "Golden girls and boys," I shifted the order to keep the rhythm. There's no word for "boys", just a general word _tidhan_ for young people, here infixed -m- for male gender. "Girls" _p=E4mth_ would more accurately mean "maids".
> hdo hmekivarn ilid kodyrn,
rrap hol=F3muanthes g=E9rronth like ventilation-conducts.GEN scratchers "Like chimney cleaners'," Tough one! _Gerron_ "scratcher" is not derogatory in Drasel=E9q, though it still sounds funny.
> il fo*m hmai nomdwav uoa.
na i tolqith g=E8n iob=E1naiek. to PRT dust indeed crumble.3pFUT "they will crumble into dust." _tolqith_ "dust" is etimologically that thin type of sand and dust that you can find in a very arid place. _iobanden_ "to crumble, to implode" is usually employed for houses or other structures, but looks fine here to me. The non-volitional aspect of your original expression is probably covered by the inherent meaning of my verb; for a (pseudo-)volitional aspect I would use middle voice.
> > Vekte ilid hrelen verimak vrydaf;
Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser =E9nqgronthes gestautan; ahead never fear.2sFUT rulers.GEN eye-arching.ACC "Never again fear you the frown of lords;" _gestaut_ means "eyebrow"; it's a compound of geb- "eye" + -staut "arch, bow, curve".
> zeaamna fy vilrrandoid takto*rl;
smasin tark dantres qan=F2nos =E4`r; beyond evil king.GEN torture be.2s =20 "You are beyond the torture of an evil king;" Well, this could be a bit subversive, but fortunately the Dr=E1selhadh have _enqgronth_ "lords", not _danturth_ "kings" (the word is usually applied to foreign rulers). _qan=F2nos_ comes from a stem "pressure, crushing".
> enyvo fimuo*l-jo vera tepilaf;
en imalain en br=E8ras frat=E1raser; about food about clothing NEG.feel_bad.2sFUT "Don't feel bad for food or clothing;" _tarsen_ "to feel bad, to feel anguish, to worry" When a preposition (like _en_) applies to a NP, the conjunction "and" is not used, but the preposition is repeated.
> rin fyry tsema toryo tenvvyo.
en giad qes pos=F3v sqa raian. about you be.3s trunk like reed "For you, trunks and reed are alike." _pos=F3v_ is a general word for upstraight things like a tree (or tree trunk), or a stone column (plus what you might imagine, in rude colloquial Drasel=E9q). Note I don't say "trunks are like reed"; the preposition _sqa_ acts as a *conjunction* above.
> Reik, kyam, kado*hs-jo,
Qgumpor, skelek, naias, throne book science "The throne, the book, the science," Metonyms, huh? I use "throne" instead of "crown" because that's the symbol of the Great Lord's power; there are words for "sceptre" and "crown", but those implements are not used. The word for crown is _nethu=E0m_ "head-symbol", and the one for "sceptre" is _tibengu=E0m_, following the same structure... except that the root _tibeng_ is borrowed from Pantato, whose king bears a sceptre. Then _naias_ is usually "science" in a very broad sense, but the actual etimology is from NAI- "to see".
> aibban poto hmai omdwa sendra,
farb=FAn g=E8n senek omb=FC'rth, like-this indeed go.3sFUT all.they "like this they will certainly go,"
> send fo*mp hmai nomdwav uoa.
farb=FAn na i tolqith iob=E1naiek. like-this to PRT dust crumble.3pFUT "like this into dust they will crumble." (_farb=FAn_ is left there for symmetry.)
> > Fepre ilid fefiril verimak vrydaf,
Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser t=E1nq=FCapes sl=E0tn ahead never fear.2sFUT lightning.GEN sword.ACC "Never again fear you the sword of lightning," The word for "lightning" is _tanq=FCap_, which is tanq=FCv- "thunder" + -hap "light", so the gloss is=20 not totally accurate. _Tanq=FCap_ refers just to the light, not the electric flow. The lightning bolt itself is "the sword of thunderlight".
> ro* mro*molid ouo to dorifan.
q=FC giadn n=FC'roster tank=FCv. or you.ACC terrifying.SUBJ.3s thunder "or be the thunder terrifying for you." (Note the subjunctive. This is third person imperative as we were discussing some time ago...)
> Vera vrydaf viljjano ro* rendyn rankoid.
Fram=FC=E9naser q=FCnvogan su assilopes idhkanst. NEG.fear.2sFUT calumny.ACC (n)or disrespect.GEN marks.ACC "Won't you fear calumny or the marks of contempt." _q=FCnvog-_ is _qog_ "speak, comment about" with the "evil intent" infix -=FCnv-. _idhkas_ comes from the same root as _idhik_ "ditch, cut" and _=EDdhkosen_ "stab (and cut)" [I used it in Nik's text].
> Fyl taitfo uo tabllyso uarfy trammalta.
Sipaller gian ailar gian ernar. PRF.finish.2s your laughter your crying "You have finished your laughter and your crying." The verb is the same as the one I glossed "achieve" above. It has to do with taking something to its proper end.
> Amyelden jo*ven, deluanharn, ravo*yarn:
Titht iednonth, i t=FArsentan, i tursel: young *silkers PRT loved PRT loving "Young suitors, loved ones and loving ones:" So "jo*ven" is "young", Sally? Is this Spanish influence or just a coincidence? _ieden_ "silk" + the agent suffix -on gives _iednon_ "suitor, a man that is courting a woman". You may remember the source of this: the man gives silk to his fianc=E9e (or fianc=E9e-to-be) as a ritual. I used it in Boudewijn's stanzas. The PRT (partitive particle) is used here to transform the adjectival participles into nouns. I think this is yet another one of its functions that I discover now.
> e aibban nomdwa tanahs,
en anth perisk=FAsaiek, about this give-in.3pFUT "They will give in to this,"
> send fo*mp nomdwav uoa.
farb=FAn na i tolqith iob=E1naiek. like-this to PRT dust crumble.3pFUT "like this they will crumble into dust." Hey, this was tough. But as usual, each one of these exercises helps increase the lexicon and stretches your understanding of the language. Thanks for the text, Sally! It's really a beautiful poem.=20 As you know, English is just L2 for me, and I don't read much poetry in any language anyway, so I don't have a clue who wrote it. Could you tell us pleeeease? :) --Pablo Flores