Re: "Verimak": jumping into the translation marathon

Well, Sally and all, here is my Drasel=E9q version
of "Verimak". The added spaces in your texts are
from my private gloss of your text (then removed).


Funil fremp

 Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser baises n=ECfn
 q=FC l=F3sfiones gi=F2rres qgorrokan.
 Sipall=FCer gian =F3lmon=FCr rriestn,
 Gian olmas na faik sis=E4n=FCer,
 sifadh=FCer gian s=FCnokan.
 G=E1leftel p=E4mth mi tidhmanth,
 rrap hol=F3muanthes gerronth
 na i tolqith g=E8n iob=E1naiek.

 Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser =E9nqgronthes gestautan;
 smasin tark dantres qan=F2nos =E4`r;
 en imalain en br=E8ras frat=E1raser;
 en giad qes pos=F3v sqa raian.
 Qgumpor, skelek, naias,
 farb=FAn g=E8n senek omb=FC'rth,
 farb=FAn na i tolqith iob=E1naiek.

 Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser t=E1nq=FCapes sl=E0tn
 q=FC giadn n=FC'roster tank=FCv.
 Fram=FC=E9naser q=FCnvogan su assilopes idhkanst.
 Sipaller gian ailar gian ernar.
 Titht iednonth, i t=FArsentan, i tursel:
 en anth perisk=FAsaiek,
 farb=FAn na i tolqith iob=E1naiek.






> VERIMAK
  Funil fremp
  ahead never

"Never again"

The title was tricky, but I think this is a proper
translation. _Funil_ means "ahead, forth, advancing
in time or space". The <p> in _fremp_ is usually
elided so it doesn't sound so ugly.

>
> Kale ilid   vepat verimak      vrydaf
  Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser   baises  n=ECfn
  ahead never fear.2sFUT sun.GEN heat.ACC

"Never henceforth fear you the heat of the sun"
(remember FUTure =3D IMPerative when in 2nd person).


> ro* nivvuo*rod ilid   tenuo  tehsat.
  q=FC l=F3sfiones       gi=F2rres   qgorrokan.
  or cold-season.GEN wrath.GEN infuriation.ACC
 =20
"or the fury of the winter's wrath."
(_qgorrokan_ is from an adjectival verbal stem, meaning
"being furious").


> Fy  fyl  ofykya takremait uarfy         ritimika,
  Sipall=FCer         gian =F3lmon=FCr   rriestn,
  PRF.achieve.2sPST your world.LOC work.ACC

"You have achieved your worldly job,"
(_rriest_ is a formal word, meaning a very important task
and the effort needed to complete it).

> uarfy         hovikary      eua,
  Gian olmas na faik sis=E4n=FCer,
  your home  to here PRF.go.2sPST

"You have gone home,"
(The standard syntax has been relaxed in the interest
of rhythm. The sentence should be _Na gian olmas sis=E4n=FCer_.
This use is not uncommon in spoken Drasel=E9q, however; the
focus ("your home") is dislocated and later replaced by
a corresponding pronoun ("here").


> fyl  rilbet  uarfy         uena.
  sifadh=FCer      gian s=FCnokan.
  PRF.take.2sPST your reward.ACC

"You have taken your reward."

_fadhden_ originally means "to open", then shifted to
"accept" ("to open in order to let sbdy/sthg in"). It
indicates that you take something that is there for you.

_s=FCnokan_ << _s=FCnoks=FCn_ "to reward, to compensate"
(it implies to pay for something).


> Beto*n orwemaht jetan-jo,
  G=E1leftel p=E4mth mi  tidhmanth,
  golden   girls and youngsters.MALE

"Golden girls and boys,"

I shifted the order to keep the rhythm. There's no word
for "boys", just a general word _tidhan_ for young people,
here infixed -m- for male gender. "Girls" _p=E4mth_ would
more accurately mean "maids".



> hdo hmekivarn ilid   kodyrn,
  rrap hol=F3muanthes             g=E9rronth
  like ventilation-conducts.GEN scratchers

"Like chimney cleaners',"
Tough one! _Gerron_ "scratcher" is not derogatory in
Drasel=E9q, though it still sounds funny.


> il  fo*m     hmai nomdwav         uoa.
  na i   tolqith g=E8n    iob=E1naiek.
  to PRT dust    indeed crumble.3pFUT

"they will crumble into dust."

_tolqith_ "dust" is etimologically that thin type of
sand and dust that you can find in a very arid place.
_iobanden_ "to crumble, to implode" is usually employed
for houses or other structures, but looks fine here to
me. The non-volitional aspect of your original expression
is probably covered by the inherent meaning of my verb;
for a (pseudo-)volitional aspect I would use middle voice.


>
> Vekte ilid   hrelen verimak      vrydaf;
  Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser   =E9nqgronthes gestautan;
  ahead never fear.2sFUT rulers.GEN  eye-arching.ACC

"Never again fear you the frown of lords;"

_gestaut_ means "eyebrow"; it's a compound of
geb- "eye" + -staut "arch, bow, curve".


> zeaamna      fy  vilrrandoid   takto*rl;
  smasin tark dantres  qan=F2nos =E4`r;
  beyond evil king.GEN torture be.2s =20

"You are beyond the torture of an evil king;"

Well, this could be a bit subversive, but fortunately the
Dr=E1selhadh have _enqgronth_ "lords", not _danturth_ "kings"
(the word is usually applied to foreign rulers).
_qan=F2nos_ comes from a stem "pressure, crushing".


> enyvo fimuo*l-jo   vera tepilaf;
  en    imalain en    br=E8ras   frat=E1raser;
  about food    about clothing NEG.feel_bad.2sFUT

"Don't feel bad for food or clothing;"
_tarsen_ "to feel bad, to feel anguish, to worry"
When a preposition (like _en_) applies to a NP, the
conjunction "and" is not used, but the preposition is
repeated.


> rin        fyry     tsema toryo   tenvvyo.
  en    giad qes   pos=F3v sqa  raian.
  about you  be.3s trunk like reed

"For you, trunks and reed are alike."

_pos=F3v_ is a general word for upstraight things like
a tree (or tree trunk), or a stone column (plus what you
might imagine, in rude colloquial Drasel=E9q).
Note I don't say "trunks are like reed"; the preposition
_sqa_ acts as a *conjunction* above.


> Reik, kyam, kado*hs-jo,
  Qgumpor, skelek, naias,
  throne   book    science

"The throne, the book, the science,"

Metonyms, huh?
I use "throne" instead of "crown" because that's the
symbol of the Great Lord's power; there are words for "sceptre"
and "crown", but those implements are not used. The word for
crown is _nethu=E0m_ "head-symbol", and the one for "sceptre"
is _tibengu=E0m_, following the same structure... except that
the root _tibeng_ is borrowed from Pantato, whose king bears
a sceptre.
Then _naias_ is usually "science" in a very broad sense,
but the actual etimology is from NAI- "to see".


> aibban   poto hmai omdwa        sendra,
  farb=FAn    g=E8n    senek    omb=FC'rth,
  like-this indeed go.3sFUT all.they

"like this they will certainly go,"


> send fo*mp    hmai nomdwav         uoa.
  farb=FAn    na i   tolqith iob=E1naiek.
  like-this to PRT dust    crumble.3pFUT

"like this into dust they will crumble."

(_farb=FAn_ is left there for symmetry.)


>
> Fepre  ilid   fefiril   verimak      vrydaf,
  Funil fremp m=FC=E9naser   t=E1nq=FCapes     sl=E0tn
  ahead never fear.2sFUT lightning.GEN sword.ACC

"Never again fear you the sword of lightning,"

The word for "lightning" is _tanq=FCap_, which is
tanq=FCv- "thunder" + -hap "light", so the gloss is=20
not totally accurate. _Tanq=FCap_ refers just to the
light, not the electric flow. The lightning bolt
itself is "the sword of thunderlight".


> ro*  mro*molid   ouo   to  dorifan.
  q=FC giadn   n=FC'roster          tank=FCv.
  or you.ACC terrifying.SUBJ.3s thunder

"or be the thunder terrifying for you."

(Note the subjunctive. This is third person imperative
as we were discussing some time ago...)


> Vera vrydaf   viljjano  ro* rendyn rankoid.
  Fram=FC=E9naser    q=FCnvogan    su    assilopes      idhkanst.
  NEG.fear.2sFUT calumny.ACC (n)or disrespect.GEN marks.ACC

"Won't you fear calumny or the marks of contempt."

_q=FCnvog-_ is _qog_ "speak, comment about" with the
"evil intent" infix -=FCnv-.
_idhkas_ comes from the same root as _idhik_ "ditch, cut"
and _=EDdhkosen_ "stab (and cut)" [I used it in Nik's text].


> Fyl  taitfo   uo  tabllyso uarfy         trammalta.
  Sipaller      gian ailar    gian ernar.
  PRF.finish.2s your laughter your crying

"You have finished your laughter and your crying."

The verb is the same as the one I glossed "achieve" above.
It has to do with taking something to its proper end.


> Amyelden jo*ven, deluanharn,  ravo*yarn:
  Titht iednonth, i   t=FArsentan, i   tursel:
  young *silkers  PRT loved      PRT loving

"Young suitors, loved ones and loving ones:"

So "jo*ven" is "young", Sally? Is this Spanish influence
or just a coincidence?
_ieden_ "silk" + the agent suffix -on gives _iednon_ "suitor,
a man that is courting a woman". You may remember the source of
this: the man gives silk to his fianc=E9e (or fianc=E9e-to-be) as
a ritual. I used it in Boudewijn's stanzas.
The PRT (partitive particle) is used here to transform the
adjectival participles into nouns. I think this is yet
another one of its functions that I discover now.


> e  aibban   nomdwa          tanahs,
  en    anth perisk=FAsaiek,
  about this give-in.3pFUT

"They will give in to this,"


> send fo*mp    nomdwav         uoa.
  farb=FAn    na i   tolqith iob=E1naiek.
  like-this to PRT dust    crumble.3pFUT

"like this they will crumble into dust."


Hey, this was tough. But as usual, each one of these exercises
helps increase the lexicon and stretches your understanding of
the language. Thanks for the text, Sally! It's really a beautiful
poem.=20

As you know, English is just L2 for me, and I don't read
much poetry in any language anyway, so I don't have a clue who
wrote it. Could you tell us pleeeease? :)


--Pablo Flores