The story of Lucky Stivdam

For all of you, here's my first short story in Drasele'q,
an ironic encounter between Tegnam, God of Luck, and
Lucky Stivdan. As usual, I'd like to get some comments
and (constructive) criticism.



Lucky Stivdan: this is his story.

Stivdan went down to the coast of the river to increase
his suru [earn a living]. After going and going he saw
something like a gem in the sand.

He exclaimed, "I'm very lucky. Now I'll take this gem
which was left here for me, and I'll increase my suru!
He tried and tried to take the gem, but he couldn't take it,
because whenever he intended to get his hand closer,
the gem was gone [escaped] like a beetle.

Finally he saw that he had gotten himself into quicksand,
and at this he said, "I've always been lucky. Why am I
not lucky now? O Tegnam, God of Luck, return me my luck!"

Then came Two-face Tegnam, and said, "you have been
lucky, and however you haven't prayed to me. Why should I
return you your luck?"

Stivdan was very afraid of Tegnam's wrath, because his
luck had been taken away, as he realised. But even so, the
God of Luck liked gambling. So Stivdan offered Tegnam a bet,
proposing this: "My life I desire to bet with you now".

"Indeed I also desire that", said Tegnam. "My gem, your life."

"Thy gem, my luck", otherwise said the man in the quicksand.
"Because I wouldn't be able to live without luck."

"So it will be done", said the god. "Now if you take my gem,
it will be your gem, and also my luck will be yours. If you
can't take it, both will be mine!"

Now Stivdan was in such position that he had water up to his neck,
but even so, Lucky Stivdan claimed, "My luck will be mine again,
and I'll increase my suru!". And indeed, he actually did so. He put
the gem into Tegnam's hand and shouted, "Now, my luck, and my life
with it, o Tegnam!"

Then said Tegnam, "Indeed they are yours. I don't have your luck
here, however. I'll go to my faraway home and look for it, find it,
and then bring it to you. Don't be afraid, o Lucky. I'll be back
here soon."


In the interlinear translation below:

a", u" =3D =E4, =FC  =3D a, u with diaeresis
' =3D accute over previous (stress)
` =3D grave over previous (long)

OM =3D objective mood ("in order to")
ACC, GEN, LOC =3D accusative, genitive, locative
CMP =3D comparative ("(something) like...")
DUP =3D reduplicated form (continuous or dynamic)
AUM =3D augmentative ("very, a lot, quite")
REP =3D repetition ("re-, again")
REL =3D relative pronoun (which, who, that)


Stivdan Rin  Teken - anqe's  porr i themar
Stivdan with luck    this_is he   * story

Enmaiktien  pon surun    fnana   o'luses   rivsu"r   sa"q Stivdan,
increase.OM his suru.ACC down-to river.GEN coast.LOC went Stivdan

sa"nsa"'nq   funtel nailu"aq anvru"r  dha'bu"reng.=20
DUP.had_gone then   saw      sand.LOC gem.CMP.ACC

Tenmu'tusu"aq porr, "Rin  teken ta`ra'rs.
RFX.claimed   he     with luck  AUM.I_am=20

Famp me'vadat  fanth dhabu"n na sar faik ena'rsimu"aq bu"d=20
now  I'll_take this  gem.ACC to I   here was_put      it.REL

taus enma'ikatat   san surun."=20
and  I'll_increase my  suru.ACC

Me'vevu"aq dhabu"n, thurfarmevu"aq tadh,
was_taking gem.ACC  couldn't_take  however

anth a"per ta`radhde`n lif  bu"rr navnarsen pon idann,
this for   AUM.wanting from it    nearing   his hand.ACC

tadh    rrap laku"'eth vel   pon vaidh   sa"'notu"aq.
however like beetle    among his fingers it_was_gone

Vu"stel nailu"aq ma'talpal   anvru"r  sitenenarsu"nq.
finally he_saw   surrounding sand.LOC he_had_placed_himself

Anth kalu"aq,  "Rin  teken eltre'st.=20
this he_thought with luck  PER.I_walk

Frith   teken famp straq trestat?
without luck  now  why   I_walk

A Tegnam Te'kenes Elas, i teken glaida'naser!"
O Tegnam luck.GEN god   * luck  return_to_(me)

Gentel rrovu"aq Kladnqanth Tegnam mi  bu"k,=20
then   came     Twofaces   Tegnam and said

"Rin  teken sitrestu"aq,  ge`n   tadh na sar siringi'manu"aq.
 with luck  you've_walked indeed but  to I   you_haven't_prayed

Straq i teken glaida'nadat?"
why   * luck  shall_I_return_to_(you)

Ta`mu"enu"aq   Stivdan, gi     Te'gnames gio`rr,=20
AUM.frightened Stivdan  due_to Tegnam's  wrath

a"per i pon teken siribersu"anq,  anth tentiaru"aq porr.
for   * his luck  had_substracted this realised    he

Tha"n anth tadh,   tha"su"aq  Te'kenes Elas fra'numaun.
with  this however it_pleased luck.GEN god  gambling.ACC

A"t, i fra'numau arqgedu"aq Stivdan Tegnamn,   anth lu"ste`n  onthn,
so   * bet       offered    Stivdan Tegnam.ACC this proposing that.ACC

"San ga'daines i fra'numau rin  grud famp dreft."
 my  life.GEN  * bet       with thee now  I_wish

"Ge`n   taus dreft sar", bu"k Tegnam. "San dhabu"r, gian gadain."
 indeed also wish  I     said Tegnam   my  gem      your life

"Grun dhabu"r, san teken", mura^n    bu"k ma'talpal   anvru"r  ren.
 thy  gem      my  luck    otherwise said surrounding sand.LOC man

"A"per bi`   frith   teken marfargaden."
 for   would without luck  (I)_not_be_able_to_live

"Farbu'n gu"'ftotaqai", bu"k elas. "Famp be mever    san dhabu"n,
 thus    will_be_done   said god    now  if you_take my  gem.ACC

qesai   bu"rr gian dhabu"r, taus gia'dnaqai       san teken.
will_be it    your gem      and  it_will_be_yours my  luck

Be thurfarmever   bu"rrn, sa'rnaqai    bu"rthadh!"
if you_can't_take it.ACC  mine_will_be both

Famp bru`n aru"k Stivdan, bru`n pon vebu"r   i mien  thu"aq.
now  how   was   Stivdan  how   his neck.LOC * water there_was

Tha"n anth tadh,   mu'tusu"aq Stivdan Rin  Teken,=20
with  this however he_claimed Stivdan with luck

"Qualsa'rnaqai    san teken mi  enma'iktimaqai    san surun!".
 REP.mine_will_be my  luck  and will_be_increased my  suru.ACC

Ge`n   gim,      ge`n   farbu'n gu"fu"aq porr.=20
indeed it's_true indeed thus    did      he

Te'gnames idnu"r   enaru"k dhabu"n mi  fe'rrevu"aq,
Tegnam's  hand.LOC he_put  gem.ACC and he_shouted

"Faik i san teken, rin  bu"rr i san gadain, a Tegnam!"
 here * my  luck   with it    * my  life    o Tegnam

Gentel bu"k Tegnam, "Ge`n   giadek.=20
then   said Tegnam   indeed they're_yours

Faik fraladhdat   gian tekenn   tadh.=20
here I_don't_have your luck.ACC however

San neft    o'lmaru"r fru'matat, le'ladat,=20
my  faraway home.LOC  I'll_look  I'll_find

na giad funtel ru'ladat   bu"rrn. Framu"e'naser   giad,
to you  then   I'll_bring it.ACC  don't_be_afraid you

a Rin Teken. Faik danqomp qualarsat."
o with luck  here soon    I'll_be_back


So, what do you think?


--Pablo Flores

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
 Oh Lord, grant that we may always
 be right, for thou knowest we will
 never change our mind.
                         Scotch prayer