Re: CHAT: OT CHAT: Asperger's syndrome

Adrian Morgan wrote:
> That's typically how an asperger's person starts off, but
> we typically do learn, piece by piece, how to interact
> with the social complexity that is the human race.
That sounds a bit like myself.  I wonder if I have that syndrome in some
form.  Complicated by a depressive personality.

> And I find
> it much easier to make friends on the Internet than in real
> life - social interactions are just far too _dynamic_.
That's me, too.  But it's not so much the "dynamic" quality, as I have
no problem with real-time chatting, as a reluctance to *speak*.  I often
find myself replying to a person in my head, but not being able to put
it in my mouth, so to speak.

> And put me in a room with lots of people talking to
> each other all over the place and I just gotta escape.
> Sensory overload has all sorts of nasty effects on my brain,
> and all I can do is withdraw into a corner.
I'm that way with strangers, but usually pretty comfortable with
friends, at least for a while.  After a couple of hours or so, tho, I
need space.

> Insistence on routine is a big part of asperger's, and one
> that I have always been very conscious of.
I used to have similar patterns, like I always had to give my mother a
hug when I woke up and when I went to bed (even once feeling that I had
to give her 14 hugs after a week's separation!).  And there's a strong
preference for even numbers, especially powers of two.  I like to eat
two or four cookies, not three.  Not so strong any more, but I do have
obsessions with numbers and lists.

But routine is very important to me for reasons of depression - if I
don't have a regular routine to get me out of bed in the morning, and
force me to go somewhere, I'll quickly sink into depression.

> Better to say that
> "asperger's people typically do not respond to the same cues
> as other people when deciding whether a statement is meant
> literally or not.
I used to have that problem all the time, and still do to a much lesser
extent.

> Speaking very much from
> experience I can tell you that asperger's people often get
> irritated with the way others take *us* literally all the
> time.
Aaargh!  Yes, THAT's a major pain in the neck for me.  I'll often make a
joke, and people will think I've insulted them.  I've always assumed
that it was because I'm a generally serious person, so they're not used
to me making jokes.

One odd thing is that I rarely notice people being rude to me, I don't
really perceive much of a difference between "Excuse me, could you
please move?" and "move it".  I'll move either way, often without even
thinking about how they said it (in fact, I sometimes get irritated at
people saying things like "Thank you" or "please" too often, especially
when I'm just doing my job - to me, saying "thanks" implies that I had a
choice, and if it's not true, then it feels insincere and unnecessary).
Which is probably why I'm sometimes rude, not on purpose, but just
because I have a hard time remembering what other people find rude.

And I have a hard time accepting compliments, because people often give
compliments just to be polite, so whenever someone compliments me, I
think "they're just saying that".  Which is why I like to do things like
helping to cook for student dinners at my church, or making cookies and
giving them away - people are honest about food, if they don't like it,
they may *say* they like it, but they won't go back for seconds.
There's no feeling better than seeing people go back for seconds or
thirds of what you made.  :-)

> The reason that asperger's syndrome - even at my very mild
> end of the spectrum - is a problem, is that in our society
> social competence is assumed. I'm repeating almost every
> subject I do at university for reasons I'm not going to go
> into here, but if I had confronted these problems before
> they grew to monstrous proportions by talking to my
> lecturers about them right at the start, then it would have
> made it much easier to manage my study difficulties. But
> such a confrontation is _painful_ to an asperger's person.
That could be a description of me!  I have a hard time asking for
clarification on an assignment and the like.  When combined with
depression, the results are terrible.

Plus, I seem to lack emotions that others experience - I've never felt
envy, romantic attraction, jealousy, ambition, and I rarely feel pride.

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