OT (very): DSL....carp and cavil

A familiar story that will only be of interest (if any) to Usonians.  I
recently had a totally frustrating go-round...... My ISP, Eaglenet, sent out
a tempting email, saying that I could get DSL and other new goodies thru
them.  (They serve mainly the Holland/Grand Rapids MI area, my little
Tinytown is 10 mi. from Holland and in another count(r)y-- at least dial-up
is a free call.......)

 So I tried:  "Roger [I hate when they do that], is your phone service with
Ameritech?"  "No, Verizon" "Well then, we can't do it".

Call Ameritech:  "Is there some way I can switch from Verizon to Ameritech?"
(many holds later) "no"

Call Verizon:  "Do you offer DSL is my area?" (Give many details; many
holds......) "no." "Do you plan to in the near future? " "No."

Last resort:  call ATT Broadband, my TV cable provider (I hate them-- and
their  pathetic little selection of channels; they also serve Holland MI
where "basic" service includes about 10 more channels than I get.  A friend
in Holland has DSL through them).  "Do you offer DSL hookups for my area?"
(give more details; much hemming and hawing) "no." "Do you plan to"?  "I
don't think so........"

So it appears, for the foreseeable future,  I'm stuck with my good old 56K
modem, dial-up.  Any suggestions? (At this point, I'll even consider illegal
ideas.........)
</rant>

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