Re: Spousal names (Was: Re: "Mister" (was: Re: New Lang: Igassik))

On Wed, 25 Oct 2000, H. S. Teoh wrote:

> Oct 25, 2000 at 02:04:57PM -0400@
>
> On Wed, Oct 25, 2000 at 02:04:57PM -0400, Yoon Ha Lee wrote:
> > <shaking head and grinning>  My boyfriend of 3 years has the last name
> > "Betzwieser."  "Strange last name" is in relation to my own name, and
> > German and Korean just don't seem to mix!  If my name were, oh, Frieda or
> > Carla or Elise, I'm sure I'd feel differently.  <G>
> [snip]
>
> Hmm, "Yoon Betzwieser". I don't know German, but that sounds more like a
> sentence rather than a name. At least it sounds better than "Yoon Ha
> Betzwieser" -- that'd be *really* odd. I do know, however, that some
> non-European women just keep their family name and tack on the husband's
> last name at the very end, so your name would end up as something like
> "Yoon Ha Lee Betzwieser" which at least is more palatable than "Yoon Ha
> Betzwieser". :-P
>
> Alternatively, why don't you "adopt" a German first name, then? ;-)
<sniff>  I would if he'd adopt a Korean name.  Make it easier on my poor
Korean relatives who can't at all pronounce "Betzwieser," as opposed to
his relatives, who have no problem with "Yoon" or "Lee."  I see no reason to
have to
take someone else's name entirely if it's not reciprocal.  One of my HS
classmates didn't understand me, because she thought taking a husband's
name was "romantic" (and there's nothing wrong with that POV if you don't
try to force it one me).  In that case I couldn't see why couples don't
*exchange* names and be *twice* as romantic.

I like my name.  I have no desire to give it up.  I also have no desire
to be another model of female subservience--which the last name business
doesn't necessarily signify, but still, the custom has always grated.  My
mom remained a Chun Ok Seon after her marriage.  I like the custom and
want to keep it.  I have no idea how my sister feels about it, but it's
really between her and whoever, if anyone, she ends up finding.

> ObConlang: what happens to names when a native speaker marries a
> non-native speaker? (in conlangs/concultures that adopt the convention of
> one spouse picking up the other's name, that is.)
No name-exchange.  Children take the mother's family name, due to
matrilineality and my personal feeling that it's way easier to tell who
the mother is than who the father is.  Well, if the non-native speaker is
amenable.  But the tendency would just be to preserve the original
tradition between native-speakers, which is the same.
You could refer to either partner as the other's spouse, though.

YHL