Poem translation

Here's a poem I wrote that I thought would be good to translate into
Ikanirae Seru because
a) It's conculturally appropriate
b) most of the poetic structure is in the balance of syntax and meaning
of the first and second halves, not in more phonetic effects like rhyme
or alliteration or rhythm.

Here's the English original:

Among the other kids lonely I stood
listening to the laughing, chattering crowd
longing again to talk to a friend

Out by the shore I sat alone in peace
looking at the crashing, sparkling waves
resting, gazing out to sight's end.

In Ikanirae Seru, with glosses and back-translation:

uti ha yokiya enasa tuina sora ikoku
I PAST stand lonely among other PL-child
"I stood lonely among the other children"

one uti noseki ma nokomi se aki ha hahe ti seseruseru
with I listen to crowd that 3SG.ANIMATE[1] PAST[2] laugh and chatter
"listening to the crowd that laughed and chattered"

ti uti ha eori seru one tiuu nata a
and I PAST long talk with friend again STATEMENT
"and I longed to talk to a friend again."


uti ha tana ena meke kanakana to samoka
I PAST sit alone peaceful outside at beach
"I sat alone in peace outside at the beach"

one uti kaimo ma yiheora se yaku ha hasako ti katisi
with I look to PL-wave that 3PL.ANIMATE PAST crash and sparkle
"looking at the waves that crashed and sparkled"

ti uti ha semeo ti kamino kana ma kini ro koimu a
and I PAST rest and gaze out to end of sight STATEMENT
"and I rested and gazed out to the end of sight."

___
[1] "crowd" is regarded as animate, because a crowd is made up of
people, but is not itself personal.

[2] In "one" clauses, tense is relative to that of main clause; present
tense is same time, past tense is previous time, future tense is
subsequent time.




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