CHAT: Ebonic Xmass

 Ebonics Crimmus Pome

    Wuz de nite befo Crimmus;
    And all ower da hood;
    ereybody wuz' sleepin';
    Dey wuz sleepin' good.

    We hunged up our stockings;
    An hoped like de' heck;
    That old Santa Clause;
    Be bringin' our check.

    All o'de fambily;
    Wuz layin in de beds;
    While Ripple and Thunderbird;
    Danced through dey heads.

    I passed out inna' flo;
    Right nex to my Maw;
    When I heard sech a fuss;
    I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

    I looked out thru de bars;
    What covered my doe;
    'spectin' de sheriff;
    Wif a warrant fo sho.

    And what did I see;
    I said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
    Ther' wuz a huge watermellon;
    Pulled by giant warf rats!!

    Now ober all de years;
    Santa Clause, he be white;
    But looks liken us bros;
    Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

    Faster dan a Po'lees car;
    My home boy he came;
    He whupped on dem warf rats;
    An' called dem by name!

    On Leroy, on 'Lonzo ;
    And on Willie Lee;
    On Saphire, on Chenequa;
    Dey wuz a site to see!!

    As he landed dat watta' mellon;
    Out der in da skreet;
    I knowed it was fo' sho';
    Da damndest site I ebber did see.

    He didn't go down no chimbley;
    He picked da' lock on my doe;
    An' I sez to myself;
    "Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

    He had dis big bag;
    Full of prezents I 'xpect;
    Wid Air Jordans and fake gold;
    To wear roun' my neck.

    But he left no good prezents;
    Jus started stealing my shit;
    Got my drugs, got my guns,
    Even got my burglar's kit!!

    Wit my stuff in de bag;
    Out da window he flewed;
    I woudda' tried to catched him;
    But he stoled my 'nife too!!

    He jumped on dat wadda' mellon;
    An' whipped out a switch;
    He wuz gone in a seccon';
    Dat son of a bitch!!

    Next year I be hopin':
    Anutha Sanna we git;
    Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause;
    Jus' ain't werf a sh*t!!!

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