Re: A Charyan Brothel Song in Teonaht

FFlores wrote:
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> Sally Caves <scaves@...> wrote:
> >
> > Traltan!  (Greetings!)
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> Hi, Issytra.
Vyko, Pflores, my friend!

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> >
> > I regret to put before you tired ones another conlang
> > translation challenge, but there it is, as Sally would say.
> >
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> Yes, Sally's always giving us homework to do. :)
Sally has urged me to tell you that she is laughing in delightful
hysterics and cannot write... especially by your remark a little
ways down "Ok, not much room left for imagination."  She was posed
with same problem when Mr. Rempt exacted a similar promise, to=20
translate and POST!  That is why this job she gave to *me.*
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> Well, this is the second time I write this message
> (I lost the first version just an hour ago -- there
> was a blackout!) so I won't say anything else. Here
> is the Drasel=E9q text:
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> VAIDH
> fingers
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> Vaidh,  famp a  dorth=E4ts vaidh,
> fingers now  oh drunken  fingers
Yes, good... but don't forget "uinse."  Did I leave it
out of the glossary?  I think I might.  It means "only,"
or "just."  So that it is just *lreen* or *vaidh* that do=20
the trick, not the thing of so little imagination. <G>
Not at least this poem.
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>         _dorth_ "alcohol, fermented drink"
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> drasin  san tursnes       pases    sl=E0m
> through my  loved_one.GEN skin.GEN garden
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>         _sl=E0m_ "garden" or "tree park"
Yes, good! (Te, benda!)
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> tr=E9satir   san vaidhadh!
> walk.2pFUT my  fingers.GRP
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> Kiant=E8n s=E4n a  san vaidhadh,
> parting go  oh my  fingers.GRP
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>         Here _s=E4n a_ is "go!" (imperative)
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> ki=E1natir   san tursnes       pas=FCr    hiln!
> part.2pFUT my  loved_one.GEN skin.LOC grass.ACC
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> San vaidh   p=F2 rin  turas
> my  fingers so with loving_feelings
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> D=F3rth=E4tsil h=FCrramik,
> drunkenly  tremble.3pACT
Hsvenda!  (Excellent!)
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> fnana    p=F2 s=E4nik    entrestel
> downward so go.3pACT combing
Benda, good interpretation.
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>         _en-tresten_ (causative) + "walk" =3D
>         =3D "make to walk, mark a specific path"
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> gian dhuabadh  i   kasal i   imb=E4nonth
> your hairwaves PRT wheat PRT farms.ACC
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>         Genitive/compositive _i_:
>         "the farms of wheat of your hairlocks"
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Tehhyn... yes indeed...
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> Gian =ECres      dhit   m=E9rianth=FCr  n=E9mevik
> your smile.GEN little valleys.LOC dance.3pACT
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> Rin  dandas na tamal gian v=E1rsmalkadh
> with height to white your shoulders.GRP
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>         _dandas_ "moral height, noble feelings"
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> fna  s=E4nik    mi  th=E4sil     mevik
> down go.3pACT and pleasantly grasp.3pACT
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> dhrithk urthalthes rirm   t=F2thn
> firm    hills.GEN  smooth weight.ACC
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>         _dhrithk_ "firm, solid, consistent"
>         (same root as _dhrith_ "earth, dry land")
>         _urth=E1l_ "hill" is a Pantato borrowing.
Well.  This part a little more difficult it seems.
But here you do your own thing suitable to your own poem.
This Pantato, ai kwar tobre? (what is it?)
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> Lif  na giad i   tur  ratsot     san pos=F3v,
> from to you  PRT love rise.MV.3s my  column
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>         Ok, not much room left for imagination...
Ry tyr mal taitaf!  (I, too, laughing!)
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> tadh famp i   vaidh,  m=FCl  on  vaidh,
> but  now  PRT fingers only all fingers
Oh you have managed to get the uinse.  Very benda.
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> sonheql=FCr suek gian dhidmer adarsel,
> belly.LOC over your navel   wandering
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>         _dhid-mer_ lit. "little mouth"
>         (biologically quite correct!)
>         _ad-arsel_ "un-staying, wandering"
I very much like this "un-staying."  Good word!
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> k=F3thandel tokumerg   kinklival.
> feeling   stick.COMP stammering
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>         You dirty-minded! A "feeling stick" is a
>         wooden stick used to test the firmness of
>         ground in swampy areas and such.
>         (The Dr=E1selhadh don't use divining rods.)
I? Issytra?  Dirty-minded?  Ah, never! =20
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>         _kinklival_ =3D qin- "continuous, time after
>         time" > kin- + _klival_ "beginning" =3D
>         =3D "beginning time after time, never going
>         past the beginning"
Well.  This *continual* you must have from the Denden;
I am not certain it is in the Teonaht.  And now I begin
to sound like Yoda, don't I?
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> Aqrim    na melps  mien  dunsadhdel,
> suddenly to hidden water searching
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>         _na X dunsadhden_ "search for X, making a
>         mess of the place if necessary, until you
>         find it"
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> famp enfoltots,   nolmar   s=E4nel,
> now  submerged.MV (to)home going
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>         _nolmar_ =3D _na olmar_ "to home"
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> lif  b=FCn mi=E9nedanth dhenrrarsel grais!
> from its streams    growing     mountain
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>         _dhenrrarsel_ "growing, upsurging; moving
>         and shaking upwards". Used for water sources
>         and growing plants.
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> Tenf=E1dh  a! Gian aov=FCr,   a  rin  tiull,
> RFX.open oh your well.LOC oh with lust
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>         _tenf=E1dh a!_ "open yourself!" (let yourself get
>         into the mood). The root FADH means "open", "trust",
>         and "accept".
>         _a=F3v_ "well, deep hole"
>         _tiull_ "erotic feelings" (not pejorative)
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> b=FC'navir   thasant,      tenf=E1dh  a  k=E8m!
> feel.2sFUT waterfall.ACC RFX.open oh woman
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>         _thasat_ "waterfall, cascade" is used metaphorically
>         for very strong sensations.
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> I hope I've preserved some of the spirit of the song...
Oh yes!  And the delicacy also.

> Such intimate stuff is very difficult to translate.
                "You don't say!"  <--Sally LOL=20

> --Pablo Flores
Muchas gracias, Pablo;  bonita... Issytra  (Ailly!  A rhyme!)