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Re: Translating from a conlang into a conlang

From:FFlores <fflores@...>
Date:Wednesday, April 21, 1999, 13:50
Well, judging by Irina's translation, I think
I've made a fool of myself when translating the
Charyan text :-(


Irina Rempt <ira@...> wrote:
> I admit that I have an unfair advantage, having known the text in > Charyan and Dutch for years; but I'll try not to use what I already > know. >=20
[snip]
> > t'erneno beryakari yashnar > iran moch farinenas chalenan >=20 > This is where it becomes difficult. The normal Valdyan way to say > "I'm fourteen years old" is either _iran zaran relyinen amran_ "I'm > living in my fifteenth year" or _iran moch relyinan amrenan_ "I've > lived fourteen years"; if someone says that she's lived fourteen > springs, people will be tempted to ask what she did in summer, autumn > and winter. _Farinas_ "spring" is a new compound, a use for the > participle at last: "greening" from _farina_ "to become green", _lea > farinat_ "spring is beginning". "I've seen fourteen springs".
I thought "spring" meant "water source, well". Why I wouldn't know. I have a problem similar to Irina's in Drasel=E9q. To express you are N years old, you say "I walk with X years" or "I am with X years" (with the stative verb _arsen_ meaning "be in a place or position"). Here a native speaker would use _Rin dremh=FCntel dhenrronth sitres=FCt_ "With 13 springs I have walked".
>=20 > > Yan t'eheranmamen t'imti esero u? > Ei! Culea i bastean a bychesat? >=20 > I put the exclamation at the beginning, because at the end it would > be too much like "..., eh?". _Culea_ "who" has no masculine form, > even though it's perfectly obvious that a male is being looked for. > _Bycha_ "to demand" has the inceptive aspect and present tense: she's > expecting it to happen any moment. "Oh! Who is going to demand the > heart from me?"
Here I thought "who" in the interlinear translation was the relative, not the interrogative pronoun. [snip]
> > "Sero laya", Yudirza yetashmerzo > Doparne ine cunie laynynat >=20 > There's some ambiguity here: either the big sister says that she > (herself) is pretty, or that her little sister is pretty. The > Valdyan, unintentionally and fortunately, also has it. _Doparne_ > could also mean "big brother", by the way. _Cunie_ "pretty" is a new > word from the Spare Roots File. "My big sister says I'm pretty".
I took _Yudirza_ as a proper name, because it's capitalized. _Nollalvet_ is made up of a root NOL- "old" and _lalet_ "sibling" plus a female infix, -v(a)-. ("Brother" is _lalm=FCt_, with a male infix -m(u)- umlauted by the following -e-. The corrected version: Tum! I p=FCltamth bramek. Poom! Plums they fall. Rin dremh=FCntel dhendonth sitrestat. With thirteen springs I have walked. G=EDmnilaqai q=FCnth san =FCth=E1n? Who will ask for my heart? P=E0ql=F3n ven san nedhuar. Thick and black is my hair "Sar qgast", bur Nollalvet. Me, I'm beautiful, says Eldersister Sarn i ieden qg=E9dnerai k=FCr=E1th Someone give now some silk to me per rrap okles s=ECn qgast. for I'm beautiful like a cherry flower. The corrected verses: Rin dremh=FCntel dhenrronth sitres=FCt with thirteen springs PRF.walk.1sPAST _rin_: "with, accompanied by" _dhenrron_: new word, ancient root /'zenere/, Drasel=E9q /'Dener/, /Denr/- "movement, upsurging", and the agentive suffix -on. G=EDmnilaqai q=FCnth san =FCth=E1n? ask_for.3sFUT who my heart.ACC The interrogative pronoun is left in place. Hope that's all... :) --Pablo Flores