Fractured translations

A friend just sent me the following winners in a New York Magazine
contest in which contestants were asked to take a well-known expression in a
foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the
new expression.  Here they are.  Enjoy!

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
Can you drive a French motorcycle?

COGITO EGGO SUM.
I think; therefore I am a waffle.

RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead.

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you're Scottish.

POSH MORTEM
Death styles of the rich and famous.

PRO BOZO PUBLICO
Support your local clown.

MONAGE A TROIS
I am three years old.

FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat.

HASTE CUISINE
Fast French food

VENI, VIDI, VICE
I came, I saw, I partied.

QUIP PRO QUO
A fast retort.

APRES MOE LE DELUGE
Larry and Curly got wet.

ICH LIEBE RICH
I'm really crazy about having dough.

VISA LA FRANCE
Don't leave your chateau without it.

AMICUS PURIAE
Platonic friend

VENI, VIDI, VELCRO
I came, I saw, I stayed.

And...

QUE PISA?
Where is the bathroom?


--
John Cowan                                   cowan@ccil.org
One art/there is/no less/no more/All things/to do/with sparks/galore
        --Douglas Hofstadter