Relay: 19. From Brithenig to Dublex
From: | Sally Caves <scaves@...> |
Date: | Sunday, December 5, 1999, 20:47 |
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Jeffrey Henning wrote:
>
> Here is the complete translation in Dublex. Please note that vowels are
> pronounced as in Esperanto and that 'h' is pronounced /sh/ as in 'shed'.
> Stress is on the penultimate syllable if the word ends in a vowel, otherwise
> on the last syllable.
>
> Poamdevio. Comunu u von o voc, io seb cisu o veona cis io.
> /poh-ahm-deh-VEE-oh. koh-MOO-noo oo vohn oh vohk EE-oh sehb KEE-soo oh
> veh-OH-nah kees EE-oh/
> Nuna ventleta feort comartonu.
> Toana fonsens feinu.
> Vat rastu o gid.
> Toan tele fonsensu, iom o toan lete siucu.
> Toana fonsens feinu.
> Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe fonsensu o von.>>.
> Hazar sahu o nest.
> Toana fonsens feinu.
> O suma sialfper teroru dinsolbez.
> Toana vissens feinu.
> Vone poama vissens feinu, iom giertempio vona nuptu.
> Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe vissensu o von.>>.
>
> Now the idiomatic translation.
>
> Fatherly God, impart to us the word that narrates this story.
>
> Now the breeze is stronger.
> His hearing begins.
>
> The water grows food.
> He hears afar; he saddens a little.
> His hearing begins.
>
> Because of this, I say, "O My Father, You hear us with favor."
>
> The tree makes a house healthy.
> His hearing begins.
>
> All the elders fear the night.
> His seeing begins.
>
> My Father's sight begins, as we marry.
>
> Because of this, I say, "O My Father, You see us with favor."
>
> When I initially received the Brithenig poem, it seemed almost gibberish to
> me. Not because of the Brithenig translation itself, but because the text
> had changed so much it just seemed like words strung together. It
> definitely lacked continuity. Finally, after reading it a half dozen times
> and after diving into translating it, I interpreted it as the ritual
> phrasing of a wedding ceremony, phrasing which had become a comforting
> patter and paternoster of the nuptial rites. The breeze was a
> representation of the spirit and voice of the Father-God. The food-growing
> water was a sign of future fertility and a reproach that the couple has
> consummated their relationship and conceived a child before the ritual of
> marriage ("he hears afar; he saddens a little"). The tree is a
> representation of the God (whether the tree as cross, the tree as in Odin's
> sacrifice or simply the wind in the trees as the voice of God in the land is
> unclear and awaited more details of the culture of the people who created
> this ritual) as he makes a house healthy, blessing the new home of the new
> couple. "All the elders fear the night" was a veiled reference to the fear
> of death ending the union of marriage, but it is only in recognizing how a
> marriage should end (through death of a partner rather than divorce) that
> you can see what a marriage means, and with that seeing, with that
> recognition, be married.
>
> I still prefer "You may kiss the bride" as the ending to a wedding ceremony!
> :-) In all other things I am afraid my own biases and preferences are
> evident in my interpretation, but with no other context, what could I look
> to but my own views? Alas, Dublex doesn't come with an imagined conculture.
>
> Now the interlinear translation. Note that pronouns are not marked for
> number, which can make interpretations ("his" or "their", "my" or "our"?)
> difficult. Dublex relies on a root vocabulary of just 400 words, with other
> words nonce forms, allowing me to have finished the lexicon to the language
> and yet always be reinventing it. Dublex prefers literal forms to
> figurative forms.
>
> Poamdevio. Comunu u von o voc, io seb cisu o veona cis io.
> Parent+masculine+god+{vocative}. Communicate+{verb} {indirect-object}
> {first-person-pronoun} {direct-object} word {relative-clause-initiator}
> {subject-placeholder} narrate(story+{verb}) {direct-object} this+{adjective}
> story {relative-clause-terminator}.
>
> Nuna ventleta feort comartonu.
> Present+{adjective} wind+diminutive+{adjective} strength(strong+abstraction)
> compares+{augmentative}+{verb}.
>
> Toana fonsens feinu.
> {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} sound+sense
> end+{opposite}+{verb}.
>
> Vat rastu o gid.
> Water grow+{verb} {direct-object} food.
>
> Toan tele fonsensu, iom o toan lete siucu.
> {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine} far+{adverb} sound+sense+{verb}
> {clause-conjunction} {direct-object} {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}
> {diminutive}+{adverb} happy+opposite+{verb}.
>
> Toana fonsens feinu.
> {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} sound+sense
> end+{opposite}+{verb}.
>
> Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe fonsensu o von.>>.
> cause+{clausal-modifier} {first-person-pronoun} mouth+{adjective}
> communication+{verb} {direct-object}
> <<{first-person-pronoun}+parent+{masculine}+{vocative}.
> {second-person-pronoun} favorableness+{adverb} sound+sense+{verb}
> {direct-object} {first-person-pronoun}>>.
>
> Hazar sahu o nest.
> /shah-ZAHR sah-SHOO oh nest/
> tree make-healthy(health+{verb}) {direct-object} house.
>
> Toana fonsens feinu.
> {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} sound+sense
> end+{opposite}+{verb}.
>
> O suma sialfper teroru dinsolbez.
> {direct-object} all+{adjective} old+{opposite}+person fear+{verb}
> daily+sun+absence.
>
> Toana vissens feinu.
> {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} vision+sense
> end+{opposite}+{verb}.
>
> Vone poama vissens feinu, iom giertempio vona nuptu.
> {first-person-pronoun}+{adjective-modifier} parent+{masculine}+{adjective}
> vision+sense end+{opposite}+{verb}, {clause-conjunction}
> while(among+time)+{clause-modifier} {first-person-pronoun} marriage+{verb}.
>
> Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe vissensu o von.>>.
> cause+{clausal-modifier} {first-person-pronoun} mouth+{adjective}
> communication+{verb} {direct-object}
> <<{first-person-pronoun}+parent+{masculine}+{vocative}.
> {second-person-pronoun} favorableness+{adverb} vision+sense+{verb}
> {direct-object} {first-person-pronoun}>>.
>
> I had resolved not to expand the grammar at all (the language has a strictly
> defined BNF-notated syntax) and had to improvise for the vocative. I've
> since added a vocative, and <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe vissensu o von.>> would
> now be <<Namo vonpoam, nin sahe vissensu o von.>> where 'name' is a
> preposition and could be strictly interpreted as "I request the attention of
> the one I name", which in this case is the "fatherly God".
>
> All in all, I was surprised with how pleasant the poem sounded when read
> aloud, but I felt that Dublex's literal approach removed the poetry from the
> piece and made it more literal than appropriate.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Jeffrey Henning
>
http://www.LangMaker.com/ - Invent Your Own Language
> subscribe-dublexgame@onelist.com - Win $100 in the DublexGame contest!
>
> "If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed.... Oh, wait, he
> does!"
--
============================================================
SALLY CAVES
scaves@frontiernet.net
http://www.frontiernet.net/~scaves (bragpage)
http://www.frontiernet.net/~scaves/teonaht.html (T. homepage)
http://www.frontiernet.net/~scaves/contents.html (all else)
=====================================================================
Niffodyr tweluenrem lis teuim an.
"The gods have retractible claws."
from _The Gospel of Bastet_
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From: "Jeffrey Henning" <Jeffrey@...>
To: <scaves@...>, "Steg Belsky" <draqonfayir@...>
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<Paul.Bennett@...>
References: <19991125.215817.-567995.0.draqonfayir@...>
Subject: Re: Translation Relay: to Dublex
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 00:29:27 -0500
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Here is the complete translation in Dublex. Please note that vowels are
pronounced as in Esperanto and that 'h' is pronounced /sh/ as in 'shed'.
Stress is on the penultimate syllable if the word ends in a vowel, otherwise
on the last syllable.
Poamdevio. Comunu u von o voc, io seb cisu o veona cis io.
/poh-ahm-deh-VEE-oh. koh-MOO-noo oo vohn oh vohk EE-oh sehb KEE-soo oh
veh-OH-nah kees EE-oh/
Nuna ventleta feort comartonu.
Toana fonsens feinu.
Vat rastu o gid.
Toan tele fonsensu, iom o toan lete siucu.
Toana fonsens feinu.
Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe fonsensu o von.>>.
Hazar sahu o nest.
Toana fonsens feinu.
O suma sialfper teroru dinsolbez.
Toana vissens feinu.
Vone poama vissens feinu, iom giertempio vona nuptu.
Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe vissensu o von.>>.
Now the idiomatic translation.
Fatherly God, impart to us the word that narrates this story.
Now the breeze is stronger.
His hearing begins.
The water grows food.
He hears afar; he saddens a little.
His hearing begins.
Because of this, I say, "O My Father, You hear us with favor."
The tree makes a house healthy.
His hearing begins.
All the elders fear the night.
His seeing begins.
My Father's sight begins, as we marry.
Because of this, I say, "O My Father, You see us with favor."
When I initially received the Brithenig poem, it seemed almost gibberish to
me. Not because of the Brithenig translation itself, but because the text
had changed so much it just seemed like words strung together. It
definitely lacked continuity. Finally, after reading it a half dozen times
and after diving into translating it, I interpreted it as the ritual
phrasing of a wedding ceremony, phrasing which had become a comforting
patter and paternoster of the nuptial rites. The breeze was a
representation of the spirit and voice of the Father-God. The food-growing
water was a sign of future fertility and a reproach that the couple has
consummated their relationship and conceived a child before the ritual of
marriage ("he hears afar; he saddens a little"). The tree is a
representation of the God (whether the tree as cross, the tree as in Odin's
sacrifice or simply the wind in the trees as the voice of God in the land is
unclear and awaited more details of the culture of the people who created
this ritual) as he makes a house healthy, blessing the new home of the new
couple. "All the elders fear the night" was a veiled reference to the fear
of death ending the union of marriage, but it is only in recognizing how a
marriage should end (through death of a partner rather than divorce) that
you can see what a marriage means, and with that seeing, with that
recognition, be married.
I still prefer "You may kiss the bride" as the ending to a wedding ceremony!
:-) In all other things I am afraid my own biases and preferences are
evident in my interpretation, but with no other context, what could I look
to but my own views? Alas, Dublex doesn't come with an imagined conculture.
Now the interlinear translation. Note that pronouns are not marked for
number, which can make interpretations ("his" or "their", "my" or "our"?)
difficult. Dublex relies on a root vocabulary of just 400 words, with other
words nonce forms, allowing me to have finished the lexicon to the language
and yet always be reinventing it. Dublex prefers literal forms to
figurative forms.
Poamdevio. Comunu u von o voc, io seb cisu o veona cis io.
Parent+masculine+god+{vocative}. Communicate+{verb} {indirect-object}
{first-person-pronoun} {direct-object} word {relative-clause-initiator}
{subject-placeholder} narrate(story+{verb}) {direct-object} this+{adjective}
story {relative-clause-terminator}.
Nuna ventleta feort comartonu.
Present+{adjective} wind+diminutive+{adjective} strength(strong+abstraction)
compares+{augmentative}+{verb}.
Toana fonsens feinu.
{third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} sound+sense
end+{opposite}+{verb}.
Vat rastu o gid.
Water grow+{verb} {direct-object} food.
Toan tele fonsensu, iom o toan lete siucu.
{third-person-pronoun}+{masculine} far+{adverb} sound+sense+{verb}
{clause-conjunction} {direct-object} {third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}
{diminutive}+{adverb} happy+opposite+{verb}.
Toana fonsens feinu.
{third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} sound+sense
end+{opposite}+{verb}.
Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe fonsensu o von.>>.
cause+{clausal-modifier} {first-person-pronoun} mouth+{adjective}
communication+{verb} {direct-object}
<<{first-person-pronoun}+parent+{masculine}+{vocative}.
{second-person-pronoun} favorableness+{adverb} sound+sense+{verb}
{direct-object} {first-person-pronoun}>>.
Hazar sahu o nest.
/shah-ZAHR sah-SHOO oh nest/
tree make-healthy(health+{verb}) {direct-object} house.
Toana fonsens feinu.
{third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} sound+sense
end+{opposite}+{verb}.
O suma sialfper teroru dinsolbez.
{direct-object} all+{adjective} old+{opposite}+person fear+{verb}
daily+sun+absence.
Toana vissens feinu.
{third-person-pronoun}+{masculine}+{adjective} vision+sense
end+{opposite}+{verb}.
Vone poama vissens feinu, iom giertempio vona nuptu.
{first-person-pronoun}+{adjective-modifier} parent+{masculine}+{adjective}
vision+sense end+{opposite}+{verb}, {clause-conjunction}
while(among+time)+{clause-modifier} {first-person-pronoun} marriage+{verb}.
Cazio von muce comunu, o <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe vissensu o von.>>.
cause+{clausal-modifier} {first-person-pronoun} mouth+{adjective}
communication+{verb} {direct-object}
<<{first-person-pronoun}+parent+{masculine}+{vocative}.
{second-person-pronoun} favorableness+{adverb} vision+sense+{verb}
{direct-object} {first-person-pronoun}>>.
I had resolved not to expand the grammar at all (the language has a strictly
defined BNF-notated syntax) and had to improvise for the vocative. I've
since added a vocative, and <<Vonpoamio. Nin sahe vissensu o von.>> would
now be <<Namo vonpoam, nin sahe vissensu o von.>> where 'name' is a
preposition and could be strictly interpreted as "I request the attention of
the one I name", which in this case is the "fatherly God".
All in all, I was surprised with how pleasant the poem sounded when read
aloud, but I felt that Dublex's literal approach removed the poetry from the
piece and made it more literal than appropriate.
Best regards,
Jeffrey Henning
http://www.LangMaker.com/ - Invent Your Own Language
subscribe-dublexgame@onelist.com - Win $100 in the DublexGame contest!
"If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed.... Oh, wait, he
does!"
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