Re: Translation exercise: Li Bai's "Drinking alone under the moon"

A late reply to an already dead thread. But I just hate to miss a
translation exercise. The thread also included some stuff about what various
cultures call the Milky Way. That's at the bottom, note 7.

Fes C'anarom Adnec'ie Olamidve

Bai zaarim üvüroca dabo:
adnec'ie olamidve, limna druz' mu anc'e.
Kopkan dvimidve, akris C'anar ramzuam;
Yai was' s'ki is'c'uabzadve, c'andad c'emu.
Bezvantam C'anar olamek harzuiv deg'e,
Ki was' o yai diz'enutin paiyem ororze,
Ver ludurzu nunie c'ez adve tian ükicam,
Visnan nötridve, dorod todom c'e.
C'ontrar was', vniner C'anar,
Yai orhodon ki ganad vantamaz.
Au güz'ta adve, zadnem spravlamu;
Az'das adve, ucos'nem des'ta.
Ver yeyom uzileku toya druz'ban,
Is'luz zvisasamtom zaistrec'yamu.


And here is the interlinear. I follow certain rules when I make these, so
they will hopefully be easier to understand. Every word in Rhean corresponds
to one "word" in the interlinear. This is why I use hyphens to stick words
together when a Rhean word translates to more than one in English (as below
with "get-accustomed-to"). Irregular forms are in square brackets, because
they don't really "break down" as suggested in the analysis. And the numbers
in parentheses don't count as "words" dammit. Those are just for the notes
below.

Fes C'anarom Adnec'ie Olamidve
under Moon-INST alone drink-GER


Bai zaarim üvüroca dabo:
among flowers-INST wine-GEN jug

adnec'ie olamidve, limna druz' mu anc'e.
alone drink-GER, [near-ADJ] friend NEG [exist-3sg.PRES]

Kopkan dvimidve, akris C'anar ramzuam;
Cup-ACC lift-GER, bright Moon(-ACC)(1) beckon-2sg.PRES

Yai was' s'ki is'c'uabzadve, c'andad c'emu.
My shadow also count-PASSIVE-GER(2), three-group [be-1pl.PRES]

Bezvantam C'anar olamek harzuiv deg'e,
even-though Moon drinking(-ACC) get-accustomed-to-PTP(3) not-be-3sg.PRES(4)

Ki was' o(5) yai diz'enutin paiyem ororze,
and shadow OBJ my motions-ACC [all-ADV] mimic-3sg.PRES

Ver ludurzu nunie c'ez adve tian ükicam,
for present-moment-DAT how be-3pl.PRES be-GER [them-ACC] accept-1sg.PRES

Visnan nötridve, dorod todom c'e.
spring-ACC enjoy-GER, when here [be-3sg.PRES]

C'ontrar was', vniner C'anar,
stagger-PRP(6) shadow, sway-PRP Moon,

Yai orhodon ki ganad vantamaz.
my dance-ACC and song(-ACC) watch.

Au güz'ta adve, zadnem spravlamu;
still sober [be-GER], together rejoice-1pl.PRES

Az'das adve, ucos'nem des'tamu.
drunk [be-GER], seperately leave-1pl.PRES

Ver yeyom uzileku o toya druz'ban,
for forever seal-INF-DAT OBJ this frienship-ACC

Is'luz zvisasamtom(7) zaistrec'yamu.
Beyond (milky-way)-INST meet-again-1pl.IMP


(1) Accusative not marked on consonant stems.
(2) "With my shadow also being counted..."
(3) Past participle in Rhean carries no passive sense. "Having X-ed", not
"being X-ed".
(4) A seperate verb for "not be".
(5) Object particle. I've explained the inclusion or omission of this
particle a couple of times in ancient posts. If you're wondering, ask.
(6) Don't really know what's meant by "reel". |c'ontrak| is to walk in a
drunken fashion. Good enough.
(7) I've put absolutely NO thought into Rhean astronomy. But this makes
sense. I haven't given this country, or any of the others with which it is
involved, a definite location on Earth. I don't even want to decide for
certain which hemisphere! Is the Milky Way (specifically the bright stripe,
not the galaxy to which all those other stars also belong) visible from the
Southern Hemisphere? So I used a compound word meaning "road of stars".
Maybe I'll develop some kind of myth around that. Doubt it though.

Nil

>Drinking Alone Under the Moon
>A jug of wine amidst the flowers:
>drinking alone, with no friend near.
>Raising my cup, I beckon the bright moon;
>My shadow included, we're a party of three.
>Although the moon's unused to drinking,
>And the shadow only apes my every move,
>For the moment I'll just take them as they are,
>Enjoying spring when it is here.
>Reeling shadow, swaying moon,
>Attend my dance and song.
>Still sober, we rejoice together;
>Drunk, each takes his leave.
>To seal forever such a friendship,
>Let's rendezvous beyond the Milky Way.
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