A text in Orelynna

It has been a while since I have posted anything concerning my conlang
Orēlynna (indeed, it has been a while since I have done *anything* with
it :-)  ).

(Hopefully this will come through for most of you)
ð = [D]
þ = [T]
ā = [a:]
ē = [e:]
ō = [o:]

(Please excuse the extreme inanity of the text, but it only required the
creation of four new words for the lexicon today.)

The text in English:

Her house sits on a hill. To the west she sees a tall tree which bends
towards the earth. He comes to her house on a road out of the south. He
passes the river to the east and discovers a stone. This stone he is
obliged to pick up and carry with him to her house. He brings it to her
as a gift to symbolize his love. For him the stone represents wholeness
and unity; a symbol of their goals for the relationship.

 >:þ right? Anyway, the text in Orēlynna:

anka,  lante ayleneþdasa valaneþa. [1]
woman, sits  house-her   hill.LOC

sunada     veka     ebynute vaðe nēnte lāte  elaneþār. [2]
sees-[she] westward tree    tall bends which earth.ILL

ando, funda      ayleneþār ankasamy      teneþa   gynnauþmy. [3]
man,  comes-[he] house-to  woman.GEN-the road.LOC south.ELA-the

kelonda     hulānueþmy    kayðe    ki  hulenda   ranueþ.
passes-[he] river.ACC-the east.ADJ and discovers stone.ACC

ilunda       ando ranueþmy      nā keynayr ki  poneyr  ayleneþār
is-obligated man  stone.ACC-the to pick-up and to-carry house.ILL
ankasa. [4]
woman.GEN

dyponda     tue    dā        ranueþ dalaneþva   nā sèneyr    ānnadasa.
brings-[he] it.ACC [her].LOC stone  gift-as.EQU to symbolize love.his

sēnte      y   raneþ dea     onuna         ki  olonuna;
represents the stone him.DAT wholeness.ACC and unity.ACC;

sēnuna     sa tylonnatelsa anolonnamy       or.
symbol.ACC of goals-their  relationship-the for

[1] third-person pronoun does not distinguish male/female.
[2] the relative pronoun |lāte| follows the verb and functions as the
subject of the clause. Is this normal in VSO languages? or does it need
a subordinate clause marker to come before the verb?
[3] no indefinite articles; definite article |-my| attaches to the noun
in all cases except nominative, where it appears before the noun as |y|.
The definite article is mainly used to emphasise definiteness.
[4] |nā| indicates the infinitive of the verb clause, which appears
separately from the main clause ('he is obligated' in this case).


I need you to point out inconsistencies or just plain idiocies to
me--grammar and syntax being my weak points. The last couple of
sentences especially seem awkward. Suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

--
=============
James Worlton