Re: OT: What? the clean-shaven outnumber the bearded? "Yer Ugly Mug," etc.
| From: | Stone Gordonssen <stonegordonssen@...> |
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| Date: | Sunday, May 18, 2003, 17:17 |
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>Why did you write "soul-mate" for one and "current partner" for the other?
>I'm just curious, because I never have been clear on gay LTR terminology,
>and if I ever meet a man with whom I want to share my life, I won't know
>what to call him. Partner? Soul-mate? Husband? Wife? I don't really
>like straight marriage terms for that purpose.
I'm not convinced there is definitive terminology in use re: gay LTRs, but I
can explain my own usage.
I use "soul-mate" for Clemeth because he and I had, from the start, one of
those exceedingly rare relationships where we seemed 2 parts of the same
soul. Ancient Greek mythos held that, before being embodied, the human soul
was split into 2 parts, each of which was seperately embodied and each of
which spent their lives seeking the other. Clemeth was my "other half" who,
prior to meeting him, I never believed in - I thought love on that level
merely fantasy. I seldom explain further as either you know what I'm saying
or you don't.
I call Richard my "partner" as we have a commited* loving relationship but
our connection is not near what I had with Clemeth.
Being an odd American, "mate" for me means either "close friend" or carries
a more direct sexual tone (more often the former). "Buddy" implies for me an
on-going sexual relationship.
"BF" or "boyfriend" is more temporary for me - it lacks the sense of the
relationship being long-term.
As I in no way try to emulate straights, I avoid "husband" and "wife",
though I know some gay men (especially bears) who use "husband" or
"husbear". I believe I dislike "husband" and "wife" as it reminds me of the
too-oft voiced straight assumption that someone in a gay relationship must
be the "man" and the other, the "woman".
I might use "spouse" if/when the USA finally stops treating marriage as a
social and legal structure while insisting on retaining the JudeoChristian
overtones and strictures.
*By "commited" I mean we are supportive of each other emotionally,
spiritually, etc. I am not, nor have any of my partners, BFs, etc, ever even
pretended to be monogamous.
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