Re: A wacky language

For a wacky language...

a)  lexicalize tense   (e.g.   "walk" = gumgachka    "walked" = yiflu)

b)  lexicalize definite vs. indefinite nouns   (e.g.   "the man" = gofo, "a
man" = sihrijai)

c)  obligatorily mark subject class or gender with the number of slurping
noises at the end of the sentence

d)  mark politeness in various ways by slapping one's own face and/or one's
interlocuter's in specific sequences

f)   make oral occlusion with the hand-palm phonemic

g)   make denasalization by nostril-pinching phonemic

h)   forbid all consonant clusters in your language except for final "dkfsp"

i)   make sure your verbs have ameleorate and pejorative forms that apply to
tense...

e.g.   past ameleorate, denoting action occurring in the good old days
past pejorative, denoting action occurring in the dark ages
present & future ameleorate, denoting action occurring in this wonderful age
of progress
present & future pejorative, denoting action occurring in this wretched,
deteriorating world

j) make sure that all people are given titles, even babies, that must be
used under all circumstances, and make each title a minimum of ten syllables
long

k)   make the masculine first person singular pronoun identical in form to
the word for "penis," and make the feminine first person singular pronoun
identical in form to the word for "vagina"

l)  have one third person pronoun and make it identical in form to the word
for "nose hair"

m)  negate by triplication!   (e.g.  fi = "run"   fififi = "not run"

n)  have all particles consist of sequences of ten vowels  (e.g.  "and" =
aioiuaeuia)

o)  have 34 second-person pronouns, each 24 syllables long

p)  forbid the use of passive voice unless the subject denotes a sexually
passive partner

q)  have 100 words that each denote a different kind of snot;  NO generic
term, please.

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