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Re: Non-stereotypical elves was Re: Quick Intro

From:Joe <joe@...>
Date:Thursday, February 20, 2003, 22:42
On Thursday 20 February 2003 10:06 pm, Peter Clark wrote:
> On Thursday 20 February 2003 02:38 pm, John M. Dollan wrote: > > The Elves, otherwise > > called the Aewylin, are the ones I am having trouble with as far as > > removing the stereotypical Elven image. But I have time... > > I hate elves. Seriously. (Yes, I know they are imaginary. But I > hate imaginary elves.) They are always the same in modern fantasy and RPGs. > Wise to the point of being absolute elitist snobs. Practically immortal, > yet throw themselves into situations that are likely to get themselves > killed. (Think about it: if you were practically immortal, wouldn't you be > more careful?) Beautiful to the point that authors trip over themselves > with adjectives. You know what I want? I want fat, ugly elves with bad > breath and even worse manners. I want elves that get drunk frequently on > cheap booze and are angry drunks at that, too. I want elves that are either > a.) paranoid about everything (like Puppeteers) or b.) have half the > life-span of your average human (bonus points if they regularly die because > they've managed to pickle their liver to oblivion). I want dumb, stupid > elves that are consigned to shoveling horse manure in the stables because > they can't be trusted with anything more complex. I want elves that are the > scum of society, that cause good folk everywhere to quickly cross to the > other side of the street and bless whatever capricious RPG god they believe > in that they were not born an elf. > That's the kind of elf I could love. > >
Well, Elves were demons in English mythology, weren't they? Anyway, you have to like Tolkein's elves. It's not his fault everyone copied him.