Non-stereotypical elves was Re: Quick Intro
|From:||Peter Clark <peter-clark@...>|
|Date:||Thursday, February 20, 2003, 22:10|
On Thursday 20 February 2003 02:38 pm, John M. Dollan wrote:
> The Elves, otherwise
> called the Aewylin, are the ones I am having trouble with as far as
> removing the stereotypical Elven image. But I have time... I hate elves. Seriously. (Yes, I know they are imaginary. But I hate
imaginary elves.) They are always the same in modern fantasy and RPGs. Wise
to the point of being absolute elitist snobs. Practically immortal, yet throw
themselves into situations that are likely to get themselves killed. (Think
about it: if you were practically immortal, wouldn't you be more careful?)
Beautiful to the point that authors trip over themselves with adjectives.
You know what I want? I want fat, ugly elves with bad breath and even worse
manners. I want elves that get drunk frequently on cheap booze and are angry
drunks at that, too. I want elves that are either a.) paranoid about
everything (like Puppeteers) or b.) have half the life-span of your average
human (bonus points if they regularly die because they've managed to pickle
their liver to oblivion). I want dumb, stupid elves that are consigned to
shoveling horse manure in the stables because they can't be trusted with
anything more complex. I want elves that are the scum of society, that cause
good folk everywhere to quickly cross to the other side of the street and
bless whatever capricious RPG god they believe in that they were not born an
That's the kind of elf I could love.
Oh what a tangled web they weave who try a new word to conceive!