Re: You might be a conlanger if...

----- Original Message -----
From: "Caleb Hines" <cph9fa@...>

HAR!  <-- (note rhotic) :)  I join Rene in r.o.t.f.l.m.h.o.

YOU MIGHT BE A CONLANGER IF...

You can't watch Star Trek anymore because you simply can't accept the
Universal Translator.

You can't finish The Jumble: That Mixed Up Word Game, anymore:  "Nagyo!
Cool! Where's my notebook?" (you're supposed to just write down "agony").

You find people looking at you because you are mouthing a new set of
syllables over and over again in the grocery store.  "Cheese!  Izeesh!
Essehja.  Echesee!"

You think of uehar (or plug in your own word) before you can think of Frau,
mujer, femme, mulier, gwraig, donna, wif, or woman.

YOU MIGHT BE PAST ALL HOPE IF...

You've actually USED uehar (or plug in your own word) in trying to say
"woman" in 1) a foreign language, 2) your own language.

You've made a list of 501 verbs in your conlang, and are now starting on 501
nouns, then 501 adjectives, then the prepositions... then the cases.

You've started making up words in your conlang just to get rhymes in your
poetry.

You 've started speaking your native language in OSV order.  Or SOV order.
Or VSO order.  Or VOS order.  Or VVV order.

You've decided to eliminate all verbs whatsoever from your native language.
Couch, corner, sleeping, Sally, afternoon, future.

YOU MIGHT BE SERIOUSLY ADDICTED TO THE CONLANG LIST IF...

You tune in every hour or so in the middle of something you're writing that
has, like, you know, Real Life Implications (especially paying bills on
line, reading student theses, writing recommendations, preparing class,
doing your exercises, eating...).

You and you alone can get so worked up about whether retroflex is a POA or
an MOA.

You find yourself compulsively aggreeing to the following:

-------------------------
>I don't know if this has been done before, but it might be kinda fun.
> Here's some to get you started, feel free to add to the list.
>
> You might be a conlanger if...
>
> *You've learned the universals of lanugage so you can make a completely
> natural-sounding language.
    Lanugage!  Cool word!  Where's my notebook?

> *You also like to see just how many universals you can break in your
> _other_ language.
> *You've just created a language with 46 cases, 152 tenses, and 28
> vowels --
> no more ANADEW!
    This one above was a personal fave of mine!

> *You correct people who call a "diaresis" an "umlat".
> *You know the meaning of terms such as "velar" and "post-alveolar".
    Uh, yeah...

> *You stick fingers in your mouth in front of a mirror to determine the
> exact way you pronounce /r/.
       Uh, yeah...

> *You've memorized the ALT-0nnn combinations for the enitre Latin-1
> encoding
> (and use them frequently).
    Next on my list!

> *You've considered listing your conlang on a job application form when
> asked if you speak foreign languages.
    Already there.

> *You've memorized IPA, SAMPA, X-SAMPA, and CXS.
> */ju k&n izIli rid DIs lajn Uv tEkst wITaUt Ini c@nfjuZ@n/
> *You lament the fact that the Latin alphabet has entirly too few vowels.
> *You recieve garbage e-mail in the wrong encoding and create a new
> language
> for it.
    Just about the only thing Spam is good for.

> *You didn't realize at first that there was actually a story to accompany
> the languages in LOTR.
    Or better, you felt bitterly jealous of Tolkien when you found out that
the story had a developed language behind it.

> *You know that you could do a better job than Esperanto.
> *You toss out your old English Grammar textbooks because they don't
> mention
> middle-passive or labile verbs.
> *You enjoy watching foreign films without subtitles to hear the sound of
> the language.
    Well...

> *You can tell the difference between palatal and velar nasals.
> *You insult (or worse) people who compare conlangs to pig-latin.
    By worse do you mean tackling them, getting them down on the sidewalk
and strangling them with their eck-nay eye-tay?

> *You constantly want to reform English spelling.
    Not me.  Much admire Maggel.

> *You think the Greek definite article is cool.
> *You answer the phone in your conlang, just in case its a salesman.
    Must try that one.

> *Your language has a larger vocabulary than Klingon.
    That could be tested!  :)  (Think Teonaht would lose, though)

> *You've created your own font, and written a text-editor application to go
> with it.
    I've even bought the software, but haven't gotten beyond that.

> *You think that CV syllables are _so_ boring.
    I'm afraid I'm a culprit.

> *You've memorized which obscure languages have the most/least phonemes,
> vowels, consonants, etc.
> *You think that eight parts of speech is way too many. Just learn Lojban.
    Thumbs up!

> *You think that _any_ parts of speech are irrelevant -- AllNoun does just
> fine without them.
        Sally bed minutes sleeping entirety night hope apology.

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