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You might be a conlanger if...

From:Caleb Hines <cph9fa@...>
Date:Tuesday, November 9, 2004, 22:51
I don't know if this has been done before, but it might be kinda fun.
Here's some to get you started, feel free to add to the list.

You might be a conlanger if...

*You've learned the universals of lanugage so you can make a completely
natural-sounding language.
*You also like to see just how many universals you can break in your
_other_ language.
*You've just created a language with 46 cases, 152 tenses, and 28 vowels --
no more ANADEW!
*You correct people who call a "diaresis" an "umlat".
*You know the meaning of terms such as "velar" and "post-alveolar".
*You stick fingers in your mouth in front of a mirror to determine the
exact way you pronounce /r/.
*You've memorized the ALT-0nnn combinations for the enitre Latin-1 encoding
(and use them frequently).
*You've considered listing your conlang on a job application form when
asked if you speak foreign languages.
*You've memorized IPA, SAMPA, X-SAMPA, and CXS.
*/ju k&n izIli rid DIs lajn Uv tEkst wITaUt Ini c@nfjuZ@n/
*You lament the fact that the Latin alphabet has entirly too few vowels.
*You recieve garbage e-mail in the wrong encoding and create a new language
for it.
*You didn't realize at first that there was actually a story to accompany
the languages in LOTR.
*You know that you could do a better job than Esperanto.
*You toss out your old English Grammar textbooks because they don't mention
middle-passive or labile verbs.
*You enjoy watching foreign films without subtitles to hear the sound of
the language.
*You can tell the difference between palatal and velar nasals.
*You insult (or worse) people who compare conlangs to pig-latin.
*You constantly want to reform English spelling.
*You think the Greek definite article is cool.
*You answer the phone in your conlang, just in case its a salesman.
*Your language has a larger vocabulary than Klingon.
*You've created your own font, and written a text-editor application to go
with it.
*You think that CV syllables are _so_ boring.
*You've memorized which obscure languages have the most/least phonemes,
vowels, consonants, etc.
*You think that eight parts of speech is way too many. Just learn Lojban.
*You think that _any_ parts of speech are irrelevant -- AllNoun does just
fine without them.
*You prefer OSV word order and postpositions.
*You can't sleep at night because you're meditating on the Whorf-Sapir
*You sit around thinking up new phonologies and grammars.
*You get tired of sitting around thinking up new vocabularies (but you do
it anyway).
*You stall when friends ask what you enjoy doing with your free time.
*You enjoyed reading these jokes and want to write your own.



Rene Uittenbogaard <ruittenb@...>
Jonathyn Bet'nct <jonrelay@...>
Muke Tever <hotblack@...>
H. S. Teoh <hsteoh@...>
Steven Williams <feurieaux@...>
Sally Caves <scaves@...>
James W <emindahken@...>
Ray Brown <ray.brown@...>
Philip Newton <philip.newton@...>