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Introducing Idino: La Lingvo Inturnacia por la duduk unua cuntjaro!

From:Doktoro Malvurnomo <stevedegrace@...>
Date:Tuesday, June 4, 2002, 3:39

I am here to announce the new language that we will
soon all be speaking as our automatic second language.
This language will eliminate the need for translators
and other such parasites and will create a world in
which war does not exist. Even in war-torn northern
Ireland, when the people there are opened up to the
world in the way only Idino can accomplish through its
embedded ideology of "hommardismo", they will realise
that killing each other over Christian sects which are
barely distinguishable from one another is pointless.
There will be no end to the miracles of Idino!

Idino is improved Esperanto. Idino is better than
Esperanto in all respects. The reason why the world is
not now speaking Esperanto after a hundred years or
more of exposure is plainly that language's
deficiencies in con-IALitude. (Since the other
attempts to fix Esperanto have not even registered on
the map, I think we can safely dismiss all of those).
Idino fixes all that. With the incipience of the first
truly perfect con-IAL, a new age has dawned!


Our completely original and non-derivative symbol is a
fuschia star on a field of vibrant puce. Very tasteful
and inspiring!


It's quick and easy! Idino can be learned eleven times
faster than a so-called "natural" language, and three
times faster than Esperanto with its bloated
vocabulary and idiomatic "rules". Idino is completely
transparent, systematic and logical.

It's useful! Soon everyone in the world will speak
Idino, get in on the ground floor! You will be able to
speak to anyone anywhere!

To learn more about language. Because of Idino's
genius, it is clear and easy to learn, yet because it
is a language that was designed, if you learn it you
know all about the real underlying basis of language -
you learn how to speak really logically and clearly.
Plus, if you know Idino, you will find learning any
other language exactly 3.2 times easier.

Elevated sex appeal. It is a known fact that polyglots
are sexier than monoglots. Learning Idino will elevate
your polygloticity in almost no time at all! Gentlemen
who can speak a few phrases in Idino will have the
ladies swooning, and ladies who speak Idino will seem
more urbane and charming to men who will be looking
for more than a good set of hips in a frauxlino - you
have to have _something_ to do when not cleaning house
or giving birth, after all!

It is euphonious and beautiful. It has a strict
penultimate stress rule and final vowels on most
words, which make it sound just like Italian (only
better, because Idino has way more sounds than
Italian), which objectively is one of the world's most
beautiful languages.

Invective and sex tourism. Idino has no fewer than 14
roots that mean some permutation on the concept of
"female prostitute". This much outstrips the
admittedly rich inventory of Esperanto in this clearly
popular item. Furthemore, through an ingenius
mechanism, Idino allows you to construct another
twenty-odd derivations that can _also_ have the
connotation of "slut" or "whore" - very practical!


1. Phonology:

Esperanto wisely recognises that vowels are tedious
and should be kept to a minimum, and yet does not go
far enough in this. To improve matters, we have
removed the unnecessary letter e.

At the same time, I think it has proven abundantly
clear that you can't have enough consonants - if
anything, Esperanto does not go far enough in being
able to preserve the original pronounciation and
spelling of its a posteriori vocab, consonant-wise. To
this end we have added five new supersign letters
(rendered here in x-mutodo - don't worry, when people
see what genius Idino is, and what a great idea these
extra letters are, all keyboards will come with
additional keys to accommodate them, and of course
printing presses will have no problems): tx (like the
th in thin) dx (a click), bx (a voiced bilabial
fricative), rx (a flap), and nx (like the ng in sing).
The newly revamped, smaller, yet more international
vocabulary makes good use of these!

2. Phonotactics

What's that?

3. Vocabulary

Esperanto started with a rather bloated vocabulary (it
has two words for kiss! Idino pares this down to one,
nxgauxi and its permutations, which means "kiss, big
kiss, nuzzle, slobber on, or gnaw"), and has
shamelessly accreted dozens of extra items which could
easily be derived. Idino does away with these - for
example, the malfaciliga word "mikroskopo" is replaced
by the much easier and hence more regular
"malgrandajxvidilo". It is plain that evolution of
this nature from the constructed ideal is what has
spiked Esperanto's popularity. Esperantists, of
course, have exactly the right idea in being very
conservative in borrowing so-called "international"
words (really just warmed-over English - ugh, ptui!),
but, being Esperantists, they are linguisitcally too
liberal and adventurous, too open and confident, and
don't take this nearly far enough. To that end, we
have reduced the vocabulary to only 427 words, which
you can learn in a few days!! But that's not all. Here
are some highlights:

- Vocabulary is more international. For example, we
have "prcxkvno", "peel, covering, bark, cortex", from
Georgian - notice that this word does away with those
pesky vowels entirely, which is something you can't
say about any Esperanto words! Very eurocentric, those
Esperantists. Then there is the new root for "love,
like, tolerate the existence of", "ai" (pronounced
with a falling tone) from Chinese. Idino is a language
of the whole world!

- Redundancies removed, more dependence on context
introduced. For example, Esperanto has two affixes,
"fi-", "morally contemptible" and "-in", "female".
Idino combines these concepts in an obvious and
common-sense way into the single suffix "-in". This
produces an enormous economy of expression that
Idinists will greatly appreciate. For example, "viro"
is man, and "virino" is "woman", and depending on
context can _also_ mean "slut", or "whore"! As was
mentioned previously, this makes invective
_enormously_ economical in Idino. To insult someone's
patrino (mother), you merely have to mention the
virino - context sorts it all out! Sinixorino (by the
way, did we menton that j is being replaced with
i-breve?) can take on whole new levels of meaning...

And take another word, "filo". By simply adding an
"-in", you can create a word that can mean "daughter",
or "bastard", or "disgrace to the family", or "X's
embarrasing nancy-boy 'son'" - and of course the old
standbys, new shadings of the ever-useful "slut" and
"whore"! Virino makes a handly stand-in for
"homosexual" - "virinino" for lesbian, or really femme
gay guys. Whatever, context will take care of it all.

- and many more useful improvements!

4. Grammar

We have added three new cases to impove on Zamenhoff's
rather skimpy two - the dative (marked with -dx), the
genitive (marked with -tx) and the instrumental
(marked with -p). These allow much freer word order
than Esperanto, which is a great benefit to speakers
of inflecting languages, plus, is very useful for
poetry. Very expressive. Adjectives, naturally, agree
with their noun in number and case (by the way, did we
mention the new dual number in "-ux-" (u-breve)?),
which is the right way to do such things.


Idino is the wave of the future that is going to take
the world by storm and sweep the failed Esperanto
before it. Learning materials will be available soon -
be first in line to get yours, and be first to enjoy
the elevated intelligence, linguistic perspicacity,
sex appeal and ability to colour-coordinate (not to
menton superior range of invective to hurl at IAL
heretics!) that comes from learning Idino! Feedback on
the draft proposal is welcome, so long as it is
suitably syncophantic and adoring.

Movies, Music, Sports, Games!


Nik Taylor <fortytwo@...>Introducing Idino: La Lingvo Inturnacia por la duduk unuacuntjaro!
Garrett Jones <alkaline@...>