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Translating Cortazar - into Valdyan

From:Irina Rempt <ira@...>
Date:Saturday, April 24, 1999, 18:21
On Fri, 23 Apr 1999, FFlores wrote:

> Let me propose this short story for Julio Cort=E1zar, > in the original Spanish version, plus interlinear glosses. > Not really that different from English, but...
> Well, this should be easy...=20
Well, I had to make up a lot of words, even "sun" (I did have "star", "moon" and "planet") and there was one very awkward sentence in it. But here it is in Valdyan.
> Maybe later I'll give you > some Drasel=E9q :)
Yes! Please! I like these things, they generate a lot of words about subjects that I don't think of writing about when I write something original (I'm working on a creation myth and another folk song). DYSTEIN LAYSEN Mustinin airenan rastenan imochi chanie rythat, falan so iranisin rani. Mastien lien airenan hestynat so lysat. Cyne vurie lushean gylat lea dunli fulin le chazies falien hine gulynayt. Hanii arani airenen le denayt. Tamustyn cynat lea airenan le bysat nerien, tamustin ili ruyen len le denayt. Hanreni besh can falan rastenan imochi chanie rythat, airenan so iranisin rani. Cyne airenan lushean hyrna gylat; rastin seani cush ruyen len le denayt. Chanie falan chan mornat lea airenein lea nalayen lhenat mustin le duzenat. Havin rhyzat ni falan so ruyen len na le denenat. Mastien airenan hestynat so lysat. Veryen falan rathe tylsean lasat masten airenein so farat. Donat lei so chalynat. Lea nysat mustinan airenein. Gyrn chylat. dystein laysen of-wall.hanging subject "Subject of a wall-hanging" Woven or embroidered wall-hangings are very common in Valdyas, especially in the north where it's cold, and Rizenay (the northernmost town of the country) is famous for them. Many wall-hangings depict historical scenes. mustinin airenan rastenan imochi chanie rythat of-army ruler persons eighty only leads "The general leads only eighty people" falan so iranisin rani enemy and hundreds fifty "and the enemy five thousand." There's no "thousand" as a separate numeral in Valdyan; "one thousand" is _iranisin iran_ "ten hundred".=20 mastien lien airenan hestynat so lysat in-tent his.own ruler curses and weeps "In his tent the general curses and weeps." Now it's established what the _airenan_ is ruler of, we don't need "of the army" any more. _Hestyna_ "to say a quick prayer" is generally used for "to take the name of a god in vain".=20 cyne vurie lushean gylat =20 presently inspired message writes "Then, being inspired, he writes a message." Not the proclamation, but the general is inspired, because _vurie_ "divinely inspired" can only apply to people. I could have juggled participles, but that would give a very archaic flavour that I don't want here.=20 lea dunli fulin le chazhes falien hine gulynayt REL pigeons bringers it on-abode on-enemy above they.drop "Carrier pigeons drop it above the enemy camp." _Chazhas_ means "a place where someone is", especially a temporary dwelling-place. hanii arani airenen le denayt adolescents two.hundred to-ruler they-go "Two hundred boys go [over] to the general." I thought at first that _infantes_ might mean "infantrymen", but my mother-in-law (who knows Spanish) consulted her dictionary and confirmed the meaning as "children". As I can't conceive of 200 *small* kids in an army, I translated it as _hanii_ "adolescents, boys" (in their early teens). _Le dena_ "to go (to)" is reflexive in Valdyan like in Spanish, "to put oneself". tamustyn cynat lea airenan le bysat nerien DIM.battle follows REL ruler it wins easily "A small battle follows, which the general wins easily." tamustin ili ruyen len le denayt DIM.armies two to-right.side to-his they.go "Two regiments go [over] to his side." _Tamustin_ can mean a city militia or a regiment maintained by a noble house; as Valdyas has no standing army, these groups make up the army in times of war. As "army" is a collective plural it can't be pluralized again, but _ili_ "two" is enough to determine it. _Ruyen_ "right side" (as opposed to "left side", not "wrong side") is the usual way of expressing "being on someone's side" as well as "standing at someone's side". hanreni besh can falan rastenan imochi chanie rythat days three after enemy persons eighty only leads "After three days the enemy leads only eighty people" airenan so iranisin rani. ruler and hundreds fifty "and the general five thousand." cyne airenan lushean hyrna gylat =20 presently ruler message other writes "Then the general writes another message." (meaning "a different message", not "one more message") rastin seani cush ruyen len le denayt persons seventy nine to-right.side to-his they.go "Seventy-nine people go [over] to his side." chanie falan chan mornat lea airenein lea nalayen lhenat =20 only enemy one remains REL of-ruler REL not.speaking waits =20 mustin le duzenat=20 army him has-surrounded "Only one enemy remains, whom the army of the general who waits without speaking has surrounded." There must be a less complex way of doing this in Valdyan, but I'm still working on word order; the above is awkward, but grammatically correct. havin rhyzat ni falan so ruyen len na le denenat night passes NEG enemy and to-right.side to-his NEG he.has.gone "The night passes and the enemy has not gone [over] to his side." The verbal negation _na_ is required, _ni_ is optional when the subject is negated, but is used here to give emphasis: all the others went over to the general, but not this one.=20 mastien airenan hestynat so lysat. in-tent ruler curses and weeps in-tent "In the tent the general curses and weeps." I put "in [the] tent" here instead of "in his (own) tent" to shift the emphasis to the general. We already know that it's the general's tent, after all. veryen falan rathe tylsean lasat at-dawn enemy slowly sword pulls "At dawn the enemy slowly draws his sword" masten airenein so farat. to-tent of-ruler and goes-to "and goes to the general's tent." donat lei so chalynat enters him and looks-at "He enters and looks at him." lea nysat mustinan airenein is-sent-away army of-ruler=20 "The general's army disbands." My first effort had _mustin airenein vilat_ "the general's army falls apart" but _vila_ implies complete disintegration or destruction; there is no army any more, whatever the cause. _Lea nysat_ conveys the impression that the individual soldiers go away. gyrn chylat. sun appears "The sun rises." Varsinen an laynynay, saraz no arlet rastinay. (myself) (English) (Nederlands)