Re: A theatre play for translation
| From: | Boudewijn Rempt <bsarempt@...> |
|---|
| Date: | Thursday, April 29, 1999, 23:44 |
|---|
Finally! I've done enough on the grammar of the Broian to translate
this piece of a play. I've written a whole play a few years ago, the
first part in Broian, the rest in Dutch, and this was too good an opportuni=
ty
not to revisit that language.
Because of the structure of the Broian stage language, which is a real
linguistic corset, I had to put a lot of explicit nuances into the text, th=
at
the original would have left to the audience. Of course, since nobody in a
Charyan audience really understands Broian, these explicit pointers are
necessary to get the story across. Some special effects of the language lik=
e
the suffix that indicates whether the other actors on stage can hear the
speaking actor I couldn't use at all!
First I give the running text, followed by interlinear glosses and
explanations.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
P=E1lmadhel kirasire fenqir t'aya!
vokahrengangfenqir namu
udan he yudir carjin
udan =09=09udan tan P=E1lmadhel
yudir =09=09P=E1lmadhel
pal =09=09taupal
foadur =09=09Fensil
nudan =09=09taunudan
charka =09=09taucharkar
rachtan =09taurachtan
judan =09=09taujudan
pandan =09=09taupandan
nirdir =09=09Hapseret
p'up'u =09=09Unsuth
fentandan: P=E1lmadhel kirasire fentan t'aya!
[fentandan nahan twa. P=E1lmadhel afran twa]
P=E1lmadhel: udan caya t'awe! Ya yu yukirasirebu tiar.
Tirmas yu c'uan.qu t'onahanlous lunda.=20
[tamrodu] Yojal yu ya na timpogennarlous t'aya.
Yu ya fohun tan foc'enudada an tupalodelus=20
gennarlous yu ya fohun y shogenang logh=20
nahanlousar ralaw.
Ya tuyudiryerp ya yu pulandirqu miorafranliur=20
tulunda. Ya yudiryerp y yu pulandirqu afran=20
rayzi t'awe.
=20
[p'enairouvain gaho twa. P=E1lmadhel afran twa. Fo nahan twa.
wenisis yaryuan p'aras twa. Fensil nahan twa.
=20
Fensil: Tarmis agurwih tan fo yuafranlous duromis da=20
foyan pahgedrafan yujindrad sima.
=20
=DCns=FCth t'awe! Da udan he yudar tan andal=20
jutupamoiliar kunda! Da adan he yudir arat=20
niniyalaushliar kunda. Da arat t lengleng qufohun=20
yerdatliur sima.
=20
=DCns=FCth afranran t'awe! Da atu c'enudafohun pinipini=20
yarma-c'uxag-liar yaxa.
=20
[=DCns=FCth nahan twa]
demdarudan: =DCns=FCth quFensil qunaman namu
udanfiqar tan qu=DCns=FCth qirtin nahantan namu
atur udanfiqar perinper mursha turmadajun namu
atur wayan voyuyan geyan namu
[ wuxik'ik' p'enairouvain p'aras twa. Fensil =DCns=FCth tan baban twa.
Fensil he =DCns=FCth tamdoru afran twa. H=E1pseret nahan twa. ]
H=E1pseret:- Udir hacakar afranlo tiar. Du foan mamaotand lunda!
Agur kin karin yerir gesad hakar dilogh tupiro=20
zirhelaiob soimois gugu?
[terhaush] Hacakar tajir qudentan yudunaten t'awe!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
P=E1lmadhel kira.sire fenqir t'aya
P=E1lmadhel ill.wish play IMPRT
The story of the ill wishing of P=E1lmadhel!
vokah.rengang.fenqir namu
old.style.drama OJBC
A play in the old style
(nama is the objective sentence-final particle. It indicates that the
utterance is objectively true.)
udan he yudir carjin
man and woman list
Dramatis personae
udan =09=09udan tan P=E1lmadhel (man: husband of P=E1lmadhel)
yudir =09=09P=E1lmadhel (woman: P=E1lmadhel)
pal =09=09taupal (emperor: no emperor)
foadur =09=09Fensil (noble: Fensil)
nudan =09=09taunudan (merchant: no merchant)
charka =09=09taucharkar (soldier: no soldier)
rachtan =09taurachtan (farmer: no farmer)
judan =09=09taujudan (townsman: no townsman)
pandan =09=09taupandan (civil servant: no civil servant)
nirdir =09=09H=E1pseret (extra: Hapseret)
p'up'u =09=09Unsuth (fool: Unsuth)
(Since the pronouns and some of the verbal forms used by the
actors are determined by their emploi, it is extremely important
to assign an emploi to every part. I didn't want to make everybody
extra, since that would hide some of the nice features of the language.
)
fentandan:=09P=E1lmadhel kira.sire fentan t'aya!
story-teller P=E1lmadhel ill.wish story IMPRT
Announcer: The story of the ill wishing of P=E1lmadhel!
(t'aya: sentence final particle indicating that what
follows is important to listen to. Gloss: IMPRT)
[fentandan nahan twa. P=E1lmadhel afran twa]
story-teller go NTR. P=E1lmadhel enter NTR
Exit announcer. P=E1lmadhel enters.=20
=20
(For the nonce, I consider neither the announcer,
nor P=E1lmadhel as specially important. P=E1lmadhel will
have the emploi of _woman_.)
=20
P=E1lmadhel: udan ca.ya t'awe! Ya yu yu.kira.sire.bu tiar.
man poss.1s EMOT 1s 3s CRT.ill.wish.POT LOVE
Palmadhel: Oh, my man! I could curse him!
=20
( P=E1lmadhel uses the pronouns that belong to the emploi
of udan and yudir. The sentence final particle t'awe=20
indicates strong emotion.
=20
The prefix <yu~> indicates certainty: The potential suffix <-bu>
indicates that she desires the possibility. She certainly
wishes that it would be possible that her husband met an ill
fate. The sentence final particel _tiar_ LOVE indicates that
she still loves her husband. Had I chosen _chochu_, the angry
sentence final particle she would have been angry without love,
now love lingers, and that makes the sentence more poignant. Though
perhaps not what the author intended...
=20
)
Tirmas yu c'uan.qu t'o.nahan.lo.us lunda.=20
because 3s concubine.ALL SURP.go.PRT.PRF SAD
Because he has turned out to have gone to his concubine!
( Second wife would not be that strange in the Charyan context,
where the ideal marriage consists of three people. Therefore
I have chosen the word c'uan, concubine, since there is a tradition
of impresses having an issue with the emperor's concubine.=20
=20
I have used the suprised prefix <t'o-> to indicate that Pandamel
did not expect her husband to leave her for another. The sentence
final partice _lunda_ indicates her sadness about this.
)
[tamrodu] Yojal yu ya na timpo.gennar.lo.us t'aya.
noise due_to_this 3s 1s thusly NARR.leave_alone.PRT.PRF IMPRT
[diverse alarums] Due to this I have been left alone in this way.
(I have taken this to be an introduction to the rest of the=20
story, that's why I have chosen for the narrative verbal prefix
<timpo-> and the important utterance sentence final particle
t'aya. But I'm not entirely sure about this sentence, and I expect
you will be able to correct me!
)
Yu ya fohun tan fo.c'enuda.da an tu.palodel.us 0.gennar.lo.us
3s 1s night GEN moon.dark.DUP LOC NEG.protect.PRF NTR.leave_alone.PRT.PRF
He has left me alone without not protecting me in a night when the
moon was fading.
yu ya fohun y sho.genang logh 0.nahan.lo.usar ralaw.
3s 1s night CMP hole.black LIKE NTR.go.PRT.ALWAYS AFRAID
In a night of the darkening moon not protecting me
and leaving me alone he went far into a night like a
black hole.
(This was a very difficult one! Since the first clause
hasn't got a sentence-final particle it is joined with
the second. All this talk of dark and moonless nights
is pretty frightening, so the entire sentence is finished
with _ralaw_, which indicates fear. The aspect suffix
<-usar> indicates that the action has begun in the past
and continues into the present. The reduplication of=20
_c'enuda_ brings on the meaning of 'darkening', but
this is not very idiomatically translated. A better idiom
would be 'fo yiyi', which means 'the moon becomes smaller
and smaller'. But that hasn't the connotations of darkness.
)
Ya tu.yudir.yerp
1s NEG.woman.remainder
ya yu pulandir.qu mior.afran.li.ur tu.lunda.
1s 3s magistrate.ALL PSTV.go.FUT1.IMM NEG.SAD
If I won't become a widow I won't mind sending him to the judge.
( A widow is a remainderd woman - actually, I didn't have a
word for widow and I think it wouldn't be a common word. A=20
woman whose partner(s) have died is not defined by that fact,
and the concept is not terribly familiar.
=20
Since there is a direct object, _afran_ 'to go' gains
a causative meaning: 'to send'. The first future <-li>
applies to actions that will happen within a short time.=20
The suffix <-ur> adds the notion of immediacy. The positive prefix
<mior-> PSTV implies she views sending him as a food action.=20
The sentence final particle _lunda_ indicates sadness,
as we've seen before, but it is negated, so she's not sad.
)
Ya yudir.yerp y yu pulandir.qu afran ray.zi t'awe.
1s woman.remainder CMP 3s magistrate.ALL go good.AUG EMOT
I'd rather be a widow than that he goes to the magistrate.
( Irina and I took the meaning of this to be something like
' if this could happen (i.e. becoming a widow), it would be something
to be thankful for, compared to this (i.e. sending him to the judge,
or being cast away for another woman. In den'broi, I have to state
this explicitly. While the language has five degrees of distance
in its spatial deictic system, it is not well endowed with relational
pronouns. Of course, she's rather emotioned by this statement,
therefore _t'awe_.
)
[p'enairo.uvain gaho twa. P=E1lmadhel afran twa. Fo nahan twa.
flower.bird rise NRT. P=E1lmadhel exit NTR. Moon enter NTR.
Butterflies fly up. P=E1lmadhel exit. The moon enters.
wenisis yaryuan p'aras twa. Fensil nahan twa.]
lamp slowly cover NTR Fensil enter NTR.
The lamps are slowly covered. Fensil enters.
( Broian does not have the category of number. Fensil,
by virtue of his divine status has the emploi of noble.)
Fensil: Tarmis agur.wih tan fo yu.afran.lo.us=20
because light.white GEN moon CRT.go.PRT.PRF
=20
duromis da fo.yan pah.gedrafan yu.jindrad sima.
therefore 1s moon.from IMPR.leave CRT.able_to GLAD
Fensil: Now that the white light has departed from the moon I can
escape from it.
=20
( tarmis...duromis... because A therefore B. The prefixes <yu->
indicate certainty. Fensil is glad he can leave, therefore
_sima_: this makes it an escape. He is a noble god, therefore
imperious: <pah-> IMPR. He has the emploi of noble, and
uses the appropriate pronoun _da_.
)
=DCns=FCth t'awe! Da udan he yudar tan andal ju.tupamoi.li.ar kunda!
=DCns=FCth EMOT! 1s man and woman GEN world CRT.surpise.FUT1.INCPT DESP
=DCns=FCth! I'll give those that inhabit the world a surpise.
( There is no third person plural as such, and since Fensil doesn't
refer to acting parts of the play, he uses man and woman to indicate
all people. He will certainly <ju-> surprise them. Since he is=20
a high and mighty god, he despised those inhabiting the world: therefor=
e
the sentence final particle _kunda_ is used. The inceptive aspect
marker <-ar> INCPT indicates that he will shortly (<-li> FUT1)
start and continue into the future.
)
Da adan he yudir arat nini.yalaush.li.ar kunda.
1s man and woman fear INSLT.engulf.FUT1.INCPT DESP
=20
I will engulf man and woman with fear.
=20
( <nini-> is the insulting attitudinal prefix. )
Da arat t leng.leng qufohun yerdat.li.ur sima.
1s fear too much.DUP tonight give.FUT1.IMM GLAD
I will immediately give abundant fear tonight.
( These sentences I have split in two. the immediate suffix
<-ur> IMM indicates Fensil will start spreading fear _now_.
He is glad to do so: therefore _sima_.
)
=DCns=FCth afran.ran t'awe! Da atu c'enuda.fohun pini.pini=20
=DCns=FCth go.dup EMOT 1s 2s dark.night mad.mad =20
yarma.c'uxag.li.ar yaxa.=20
FRIENDLY.tire.FUT1.INCPT CERT
Go, =DCns=FCth, go! I will certainly madly tire you in the dark of the nigh=
t.
( A few cases of reduplication here. Fensil is certain of his intention,
therefore uses the certainty sentence final particle _yaxa_. He is
not ill disposed towards his steed, therefore uses the friendly
prefix <yarma-> FRIENDLY.
)
[demdarudan. =DCns=FCth nahan twa]
singer =DCns=FCth enter NTR
Singers. =DCns=FCth enters.
=20
=DCns=FCth qu.Fensil qunaman namu
=DCns=FCth GEN.Fensil ride PON
=20
=DCns=FCth is Fensil's mount.
=20
( The ponent sentence final particle <-namu> indicaes
an objective truth. There is no difference between verb
and noun, therefore _qunaman_ 'to ride' can be used
for 'mount', since it stands in a nominal relation
to Fensil because of the genitive prefix <qu-> GEN.
) =20
udan.fiqar tan qu.=DCns=FCth qirtin nahan.tan namu
man.courage in GEN.=DCns=FCth eye go.under PON
=20
Heroes get drowned in =DCns=FCth eyes.
atur udan.fiqar perin.per mursha turma.dajun namu
3s man.courage fire.cold blood HSTL.make PON
=20
He makes heroes into cold fire and blood.
( I've given =DCns=FCth the emploi of fool... He is the enemy
of the heroes, therefore the hostile prefix <turma-> HSTL.)
atur wayan voyu.yan geyan namu
3s star heaven.FROM loosen PON
He loosens the stars from heaven
[wuxik'.ik' p'enairo.uvain p'aras twa. Fensil =DCns=FCth tan baban twa.]
quick.DUP flower.bird cover NTR. Fensil =DCns=FCth on jump NTR
The butterflies are quickly covered. Fensil jumps on =DCns=FCth.
=20
[ Fensil he =DCns=FCth tamdoru afran twa. H=E1pseret nahan twa. ]
Fensil and =DCns=FCth noise go NTR Hapseret enter NTR.
Making a racket Fensil and =DCns=FCsth go. Hapseret enters.
H=E1pseret:- Udir ha.ca.kar mama.afran.lo tiar. Du fo.an mama.otand =
lunda!
brother 1s.poss.1s RESP.go.PRT LOVE. 3s moon.LOC RESP.stay sa=
d
H=E1pseret:- My brother has gone. If he would only stay on the moon!
( Hapseret is _pandan_, extra. The possessive affix <-ca> is an
infix when the pronoun is polysysllabic. She loves her brother,
therefore _tiar_. (This ties in nicely with the Charyan twin
gods, the Brother and Sister of the Kirimany, the divine lovers.
She naturally respects her brother, therefore uses the respectful
prefix <mama->. She's sad he's gone, therefore uses _lunda_.
)
Agur kin karin
light back come
yerir gesad hakar dilogh tu.piro zir.helai.ob soimois gugu?
but how 1s REFL NEG.flower place.gray.on amuse RHET
How can I amuse myself on this flowerless, gray surface until
the light comes back?
( _gugu_ is a sentence final question particle that implies a
rhethorical question.
)
[terhaush] Ha.ca.kar tajir qu.dentan yu.dunaten t'awe!
sigh 1s.poss.1s nobody GEN.talk CRT.hate EMOT
sighs. I do hate it when there's nobody to talk to!
All in all, this was a b*****y complicated translation exercise,
but I did enjoy it a lot.
Boudewijn Rempt | www.xs4all.nl/~bsarempt