Re: Translating Cortazar (WAS: Translating from a conlang into a conlang)

I wrote:
> Let me propose this short story for Julio Cort=E1zar,
> in the original Spanish version, plus interlinear glosses.
> Not really that different from English, but...
>=20
>=20
Well, here it is in Drasel=E9q.


 En    thp=E0r         i   s=F9r
 about knitted_thing PRT chapter

OK, that can apply to a sweater too, but it's fine.
_s=F9r_ "chapter" includes the idea of "local topic".


 M=FCl  i   =FCnstadnel renth thram   kas=EEb,
 only PRT eighty    men   lead.3s commander

_kas=EEb_ is a general name :) for anyone who commands men
in a military fashion.


 i   pieqhaustel thram   pavon.
 PRT 5000        lead.3s enemy

 Pon kaf=E1kolms=FCr n=ECln    itth=FAnd,  eren   kas=EEb.   =20
 his tent.LOC    air.ACC insult.3s cry.3s commander=20

"insult the air" =3D "insult the gods, the things that
are invisible".
_kaf=E1kolmas_ "tent" is literally "sail-house" (as in
a boat's sail).


 Gentel riv      dh=EDkuvan,        suek
 then   write.3s announcement.ACC over

I had a word for "proclamation" but it applied to
official bulletins.


 pavnes    d=FC=E4som enfl=ECnek     ruldel   halth i   b=FCd
 enemy.GEN camp   CAUS.rain.3p carrying birds PRT it.REL

_enfl=ECnten_ "pour (transitive), cause to rain", from
_fl=ECn_ "rain". The carrying pigeons cause a "paper rain".


 Na kas=ECbes       pat  s=E4nek klattastadnel feundenth.
 to commander.GEN side go.3p 200           soldiers

 I   binavem    funtel    ber=F3k,
 PRT battle.DIM afterward happen.3s

As in Spanish, there are two words for "then",
_gentel_ "then, at that time" (Sp. _entonces_)
and _funtel_ "then, after that" (Sp. _luego_,
_despu=E9s_).


 avdr=E4dil        isr=F3n  kas=EEb     b=FCd,
 un.difficult.ly win.3s commander it.REL

 mi  na pon pat  s=E4nek kladn renongth.=20
 and to his side go.3p two   platoons

 Gentsel    murs  m=E8f  gentel m=FCl i   =FCnstadnel renth
 being_gone three days then  only PRT eighty    men =20

 thram   pavon, i   pieqhaustel thram   kas=EEb.
 lead.3s enemy  PRT 5000        lead.3s commander

 Gentel riv      kas=EEb     mur=E1rs  dh=EDkuvan,
 then   write.3s commander another announcement.ACC

_murar(sen)_ "another" is related to _mur(sen)_
"three", in the sense of "third party, yet a third
alternative".


 na pon pat  s=E4nek krommidhuastadnel renth.
 to his side go.3p seventy-nine      men

 M=FCl  =FCm=E1r    m=FCnt pavon, en kas=ECbes       feuniat
 only stay.3s one  enemy  by commander.GEN army

 anrrin  rrel    b=FCd    m=E1talpimpal porr.
 silenty wait.3s it.REL surrounded  he

This part was complicated. The participle
_m=E1talpimpal_ is the *active* participle of
_m=E1talpimpan_, passive voice of _m=E1talpan_=20
"surround". There are two ways to say "surrounded":

_m=E1talpartal_ "surrounded" (passive pple of active verb)
_m=E1talpimpal_ "surrounded" (active pple of passive verb)

I used the latter to emphasize the fact that *someone*
has surrounded the enemy, he has been surrounded
(NOT "he is (just) surrounded").


 Gent       lu=E0m, na pon pat  farsis=E4'n     pavon.
 go_away.3s night to his side NEG.PRF.go.3s enemy

 Pon kaf=E1kolms=FCr n=ECln    itth=FAnd   eren   kas=EEb.
 his tent.LOC    air.ACC insult.3s cry.3s commander

 Quan=FCth famp g=E4kul  aubel       pavon sl=E0tn,
 dawn    now  slowly take_out.3s enemy sword.ACC

 na kas=ECbes       kaf=E1kolmas fund.  =20
 to commander.GEN tent       go_forth.3s

 Edh      porr, r=E8l        porrn.
 enter.3s he    look_at.3s he.ACC

 Humeregsot         kas=ECbes       feuniat.
 de.structure.MV.3s commander.GEN army

"The general's army gets de-structured."

 Gevv=E1dh            bais.
 open_one's_eyes.3s sun


"The sun opens its eyes." This is the common way to say it.


--Pablo Flores

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
En gian idgrivar fr=FAmneltel frasi=E9rraser gian pavonn
be i malladhar siqged=FCer.

"Don't blame your enemy for your disgrace=20
 if you've just given them a chance."

(Traditional Dr=E1selhadh saying)