Re: Translating Cortazar (WAS: Translating from a conlang into a conlang)

Nice story, and of a manageable length, too, but I encountered some
unexpected difficulties in this text, especially in the construction
of complex sentences. And it necessitated the extension of the lexicon
with several new words.=20

First, the whole translation:

Yomu tan pexen

Tan Daine k=EA ternoberai adan, tan gerawan loroidoxaz adan. Pesne ar
Daine ka shauldan zunganuno p zidaghanonuno. Feinta shauldan
yetsamin'nanin'gasat qishen danran andvain'zimenir tan yal logh tan
gerawan paisanar par penirir.  Werubraibrai aday nahan lohe tan Daine.
Daine chui jaharonai tan chakahinyi ga hon ka weru doxazdan nahan lohe
tan Daine nah. Tan kairi denha tan gerawan k=EA ternoberai adan, tan Daine
loroidoxaz adan. Feinta Daine yetsamin'nanin'gasat s=FC qishen.
Nribraiapar adan nahan lohe tan Daine nah. Tetarin paisahonuno tan Daine
zipaisan ga tayr beru gerawan semot. Cenam nahan=E9 tarna gerawan
taunahanyara tan Daine nah. Pesne ar Daine zunganuno p zidaghanonuno.
Gerawan geyun'yaryuan s=E9or yidenha, tan Daine pesne lohe nayranju.
Karinzu qur=E9 shauldan. Tan Daine zipaisan gedrafan. Vayn mayuan.


Interlinear text

GEN=09genitive particle
LOC=09locative particle
TOP=09topicalizer
3=09third person
s=09singular
VHGH=09very high grade honorific
COP=09copula
DUR=09durative aspect
REL=09object relative pronoun
DEL     delimitative
PERF=09perfective=20
PRT1=09first preterite
CRT=09certainty aspectivizer

Yomu    tan pexen
subject GEN cloth

  I've translated tapestry as literally as possible. Tapestries
  are unknown in the Charyan culture, as are all possible connotations.=20
  For the rest, this was a remarkably context-free exercise.

Tan Daine k=EA   terno.berai adan,
GEN daine only eight.ten   man

  It is possible to pluralize counted nouns, but it is rather
  unusual, and in this case would imply that the general has
  eighty men and campfollowers, especially since campaigning
  soldiers in Charya are almost always followed by spouse and
  children and various tradesmen and tradeswomen bent on relieving
  the soldiers from their spoils. Most campaigns in Charya
  are of the tax-gathering kind, amongst the peasant population
  in the mountains. See for some background:
  http://www.xs4all.nl/~bsarempt/tiscim.html

tan gerawan loroi.doxaz adan.
GEN enemy   5.1000      man

Pesne ar  Daine ka  shauldan zunga.nuno p   zidaghan.onuno
tent  LOC daine TOP 3sVHGH   curse.DUR  COP cry.DUR

  _Pesne_, tent, is loan from Matraian, _pasan_, 'tent'. =20
  General is translated by Daine, which is perhaps a bit too
  high in rank - especially for one with so few soldiers
  under his command. A high ranked official has a right to
  the very high grade honorific pronoun, _shauldan_, which
  is derived from the noun _shauladan_ 'advisor'.

Feinta shauldan yetsamin'nanin'gasat   qishen
then   3sVHGH   proclamation.full.soul write

  A _shauldan_ won't simply write a note, but is
  more refined than that: therefore, he writes a=20
  _yetsamin_, which is a word derived from the
  official literary language, Den'wenray, Classical=20
  Charyan. Good Denden is often a matter of mixing
  in enough Den'wenray.

danran andvain'zimenir tan yal       logh=20
REL    dove            GEN messenger like

  _andvain'zimenir_: big-throat-bird.

tan gerawan paisanar par  penir.ir.
GEN enemy   camp     over let_drop.DEL

  gerawan < southern colloquial _gelawan_ 'soldier'.
  Most people will view any soldier as an enemy. It's
  those tax-gathering campaigns, again.
 =20
Weru.brai.brai aday   nahan lohe tan Daine.
2.10.10        child  go    to   GEN daine

  In contrast to Valdyan, which doesn't have a word
  from 1000, Denden hasn't a word for 100: 100 is
  literally ten ten.

Daine chui   jahar.onai   tan  chakahin.yi ga  hon   ka
Daine easily succeed.PERF GEN battle.DIM   NOM after TOP

weru doxazdan nahan lohe tan Daine nah.
two  regiment go    to   GEN daine side

Tan kairi denha tan gerawan k=EA   terno.berai adan,=20
GEN 3     day   GEN enemy   only 8.10        man

tan Daine loroi.doxaz adan.
GEN Daine 5.1000      man

Feinta Daine yetsamin'nanin'gasat   s=FC    qishen.
then   daine proclamation.full.soul again write

Nri.brai.apar adan nahan lohe tan Daine nah.
7.10.9        man  go    to   GEN daine side

Tetarin paisah.onuno tan Daine zipaisan ga  tayr   beru gerawan'semot.
silent  wait.DUR     GEN daine army     NOM around one  enemy-single

Cenam nahan.=E9 tarna gerawan tau.nahan tan Daine nah.
night go.PRT1 but   enemy   NEG.go    GEN daine side

Pesne ar  Daine zunga.nuno p   zidaghan.onuno.
tent  LOC daine curse.DUR  COP cry.DUR

Gerawan geyun'yaryuan s=E9or  yidenha,
enemy   take  slow    sword dawn

  The idiom for dawn is yidenha, literally 'little day'.=20

tan Daine pesne lohe nayran.ju.
GEN daine tent  to   go.CRT

Karinzu qur=E9 shauldan.
enter   see  3sVHGH

  A simple juxtaposition of two verbs is just as acceptable
  as using a copula: compare _zunganuno p zidaghanonuno_,
  'curse and cry'.

Tan Daine zipaisan gedrafan. Vayn mayuan.
GEN daine army     go        sun  appear

On Fri, 23 Apr 1999, FFlores wrote:
>=20
> Well, this should be easy... Maybe later I'll give you
> some Drasel=E9q :)
>=20
Yes, please!

Boudewijn Rempt  | www.xs4all.nl/~bsarempt