Making asses of (some) of us (Was: masturbation)

Well, if I got the wrong Brian, then I've managed to piss off
two people and make an idiot of myself.  My humble apologies
to Betty and Maloney.  Two Brians, two last names that end
in y, and two posts that have inspired heated debate about
netiquette and hostility.  I am very ashamed of having fanned
the flames and invited revisitation of the wrong flame war.
That's a lesson for all of us just to keep out of it no matter
how angry someone's tone makes you.  Consider ME the bad boy
of the list.

Sally
=====================================

Brian Betty wrote:
>
> Tom Wier said, "For me, at least, it *wasn't* terribly offensive, but it
> *was* vulgar and coarse, and that's something I'd like to avoid, because
> one of the things I prize about this group is the elevated and mature tone
> of discussion. The point is, we should try to maintain high standards of
> decency and respect for all people, and try to anticipate when others
> *might* be offended.  That's something we shouldn't, I think, let go as
> just taken for granted."
>
> If I was a bit put out, it was because I do not feel that what I said was
> vulgar, coarse, or explicit, all of which are adjectives used to describe
> my post. I also don't appreciate that I received all these negative posts
> telling me what I can and can't talk about - it's sheer hypocricy given the
> tangents taken on this email list. I was annoyed - and remain so - because
> I didn't say anything racy in the first place. And yes I would
> intellectually discuss masturbation in a crowd of people I didn't know well
> if we were on topic (for example, speaking about health issues in schools
> or if someone called my hobby mental masturbation).
>
> Point is, I don't see the vulgarity. Sure, maybe if I discussed techniques
> or my personal sex life. I didn't. I simply pointed out [with NO idea that
> this well-adjusted group of people whom I otherwise respect would
> subsequently leap through the roof!] that any psychologist who called
> conlanging mental masturbation needs to tell me what's wrong with
> masturbation. After all, the American Psychological Association says it's
> good for you.
>
> That was entirely ontopic in the context of the discussion; I had no idea I
> was making some kind of radical sexpower statement; and I am insulted that
> this topic is somehow inappropriate for this forum knowing as I do how
> offtopic this list gets.
>
> "High standards of decency?" Give me a break. I was not indecent; I said
> the word "masturbation." If that makes me a pottymouth, then so be it.
> Heaven forfend I actually talk about my words for sex which I have in my
> conlang. What makes those inappropriate and not the ones about eating or
> going to the bathroom? "Elevated and mature?" How mature are we if a single
> comment about masturbation in the course of discussion leads to a call for
> people to stop talking about such 'vulgarities?'
>
> And I bet no-one would care if I talked about violence or killing or
> murder. In fact, I know murder has been discussed on this list before. So
> it's ok to talk about killing but not to *mention* masturbation?
>
> You say you are offended by my speech, but in truth I feel angry at the
> response I have received. I don't think that this is fair to me; it's the
> same hypocricy that exists in my own society. It's ok to show people
> getting capped [killed] but on the topic of sex repress, repress, repress!
> Don't talk about it! We all do it but we can't even think about it!
>
> In any case, no matter what I say I'm afraid someone will find some snide
> way to respond. Like "Well, from now on I'm just going to delete your
> posts." So let me repeat: I had no intention of offending; I also do not
> find these objections based on reasonable standards.
>
> I hope that is enough to quench the impending conlang drama; one of the
> reasons I always liked conlang was the way people treated each other. I
> hope this misunderstanding will blow over and that people will come to
> their senses about what I actually said.
>
> BB
> *********
> Tomboy: "a wench that skippeth as a boy."
> - Richard Verstegen, 1605
>
> "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
> - H.G. Wells