Re: Translating from a conlang into a conlang

Given recent corrections in meaning, I will have to redo this.  Okay,
here goes:

Boudewijn Rempt wrote:
> Xipu! Manxuri penerar
> Sero t'erneno beryakari yashnar
> Yan t'eheranmamen t'imti esero u?
> Galla esero ka chenam ye bangu
> "Sero laya", Yudirza yetashmerzo
> P'a ajir avaneranmamen sero
> Tima lyn sero lodha manve.
Sya! Kiswit=E1=FAn
Slaun=EDn=F0=E1 nadu-ta waqsaqa=ED
Subal nainl=EDl=F0a pli slaun=EDl=F0=E1 wat=E1lakwayu?
Sadyadty=FAl=F0=E1 ku samlit=E1l=F0=E1 titis=F0=E1misukwayu
Sag=E1l=F0=E1 titass=E1kw=E1l pli sazabl=FA=FA=F0
Pl=E1ssita pin wanauz=ED sazabl=FA=FA=F0
Naitik=FAtauki natak=ED.

> Xipu! Manxu-ri penerar
> EXCL  plum-p   fall-PRS
Okay, given the meaning of this idiom, this is a toughie.  The literal
is as I had before:
Sya! Gwatya'-n-ki       piq-dhazi'
EXCL fall-3rdPlIrr-Inch G7P-dhazi
But the meaning would be something like:
Sya! Kis-wita'-u'-n
EXCL Become-woman-I-PERF
This isn't a perfect translation, since it implies the Rite of Womanhood
having been completed, but it's the closest I could get to the meaning
as I understood it.
Also, given the meaning of the idiom, the age would have to be rather
different to make sense, since the Natives mature rather more slowly
than Humans, however, for such a poem to make it into their culture,
would probably require a knowledge of Humans anyhoo, so they'd
understand the relatively fast maturation of the narrator.

> Sero  t'e-r-neno   berya-kari yashna-r
> 1sHGH have-PRS-DUR 10-3       spring-p
As before:
S-launi'-n-dha'            nadu=3Dta    waq-saqai'
DatAppl-to.be-3rdPlIrr-Hab twelve=3Done G6PL-birth
But, since the poem refers to a girl who is becoming a woman, it might
be more appropriate to say:
Sa-nai-qai-launi'-n-dha'              ta-q    w-iza-gudya'la'
DatAppl-FUT-Im.Fut-to.be-3rdPlIrr-Hab one-GEN G6-time.for-mating
That is, "I shall soon have my first mating season", more or less.=20
Adults usually measure their age from their first mating season

> Yan t'eheran-ma-men  t'imti e-sero    u!
> who ask_for-FUT1-AFF heart  POS-1sHGH EXCL
Suba-l   nai-nli'-l-dha       pli s-launi'-l-dha'          =20
Who?-ERG FUT-want-3rdSIrr-Hab SCM DatAppl-to.be-3rdSIrr-Hab
wa-ta'la-kwa-yu
G6-soul-my-ABS
=20
> Galla e-sero    ka      chenam ye  bangu
> hair  POS-1sHGH NOM     black  and thick
Sa-dyadtyu'-l-dha'   ku  sa-mlita'-l-dha'     ti-tis-dha'misu-kwa-yu
VERB-black-3SIrr-Hab and VERB-thick-3SIrr-Hab G2S-Ass.with-head-my-ABS

> "Sero  laya", Yudirza yetashme-r-zo
>  1sHGH pretty sister  says-PRS-FLT
Since it appears that the narrator's sister said that the narrator is
pretty, this'll have to be changed:
Saga'-l-dha'       ti-tassa'-kwa'-l   pli sa-zablu'-u'-dh
say-3rdSIrrAbs-Hab G1-sibling-my-ERG SCM VERB-pretty-1SAbs-Hab

> Tima    lyn       sero  lodha manve.
> because beautiful 1sHGH like  cherry-blossom
Pla'ssita pin                wa-nauzi'       sa-zablu'-u'-dh
Because   in.the.same.way.as G6-nauzi-flower VERB-pretty-1SAbs-Hab

> P'a  ajir    avaneran-ma-men sero
> URGE someone court-FUT1-AFF  1sHGH
I don't get why it's Future 1, if that means immediate, I guess these
people tend to marry quite young?  Anyhoo:
Nai-ti-ku'ta-u-ki         na-taki'
FUT-Juss-court-1SAbs-Inch G2-person
Altho W. has an immediate future modal, only one modal per verb can
occur, and jussive already fills that slot.

--=20
"It's bad manners to talk about ropes in the house of a man whose father
was hanged." - Irish proverb
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