Re: New Translation Exercise >>> The Actual Song Lyrics

Steg Belsky wrote:

> "freedom, freedom, for all the children,
>  so that they won't tell us what to eat and what to think.
>  freedom, freedom, for all the children,
>  a great great great freedom!
>  so that they won't ask us to do what we don't want [to do],
>  and so that they won't say things that we don't understand.
>  so that all the children will go up into the trees
>  and all the adults will become small.
>  freedom, freedom, for all the children,
>  a great great great freedom!"
<Emily Latella> Oh, well that's very different, isn't it? </Emily
Latella>

Shmaio"ts, shmaio"ts, cho"ik se'kletso"il fanfeto"il,
pli'gu" ngeg li' pantalal, gu" makhlama la chensat hu"glozh kfo"
chensat hu"ho"vaz sho, hengamath.
Shmaio"ts, shmaio"ts, cho"ik se'kletso"il fanfeto"il,
so"i shmaio"ts zhari'o"t zho" zhari'o"t!

Pli'gu" ngeg li' pantalal, gu" makhlama la che helkethset, veget pantala
la ba dravnath u"raf sho, hu"dravnath sho, hensko"meth,
kfo" pli'gu" ngeg li' fu" vdhauledsu"n, vu"du"t pantala la hesur-ho"n
sho, hengamath.
Pli'gu" cho"ik se'kletso"ip fanfeto"ip li' chauk bursaush helomakadiz,
kfo" pli'gu" chauk mne'gaiersaup fanferaup li' ku"varaup hevano"i.

Shmaio"ts, shmaio"ts, cho"ik se'kletso"il fanfeto"il,
so"i shmaio"ts zhari'o"t zho" zhari'o"t!

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Shmaio"ts, shmaio"ts, cho"ik se'kletso"il fanfeto"il,
freedom/nom., freedom/nom., the-pl. children/dat. all/dat.-pl.

Pli'gu" ngeg li' pantalal, gu" makhlama la chensat hu"glozh kfo"
chensat hu"ho"vaz sho, hengamath.
So neg.-they/nom. fut. neg.-us/dat, "that" we/nom. pres.
what/acc. eat-imperative mood and what-acc. think-imp. [end of sub.
clause marker], say/tell-conclusive mood

Shmaio"ts, shmaio"ts, cho"ik se'kletso"il fanfeto"il,
freedom/nom., freedom/nom., the-pl. children/dat. all/dat.-pl.

so"i shmaio"ts zhari'o"t zho" zhari'o"t!
a freedom/nom. great/nom. and great/nom.

Pli'gu" ngeg li' pantalal, gu" makhlama la che helkethset, veget pantala
la ba dravnath u"raf sho, hu"dravnath sho, hensko"meth,
So neg.-they/nom. fut. neg.-us/dat., "that" we/nom. pres. the
that/acc., neg.-which/acc. neg.-we/nom. pres. [verb connector] do want
[end of sub. clause marker], do-imp. [end of sub. clause marker], ask
for-concl.

kfo" pli'gu" ngeg li' fu" vdhauledsu"n, vu"du"t pantala la hesur-ho"n
sho, hengamath.
and so neg.-they/nom. fut. neg.-a neg.-way/instr., neg.-which/acc.
neg.-we/nom. pres. understand-concl. [end of sub. clause marker],
say/tell-concl.

Pli'gu" cho"ik se'kletso"ip fanfeto"ip li' chauk bursaush helomakadiz,
So the-pl. children/nom. all/nom.-pl. fut. the-pl. trees/loc. go
up-concl.

kfo" pli'gu" chauk mne'gaiersaup fanferaup li' ku"varaup hevano"i.
and "that" the-pl. adults/nom. all/nom.-pl. fut. small/nom-pl.
become-concl.

Shmaio"ts, shmaio"ts, cho"ik se'kletso"il fanfeto"il,
freedom/nom., freedom/nom., the-pl. children/dat. all/dat.-pl.

so"i shmaio"ts zhari'o"t zho" zhari'o"t!
a freedom/nom. great/nom. and great/nom.

For those of you keeping score at home, the most significant change here
is that many of the verbs have gone from the speculative mood, required
of an expression like "we hope that", to the conclusive, required of
pl'igu", "so (that)". Also revamped the "say things we don't understand"
part 'cause a pli'gu" phrase within a pli'gu" phrase sounded icky and
was a little hard to follow. "Great, great, great" just wasn't cutting
it in Ge'arthnuns, so I opted for "great and great" -- zhari'o"t zho"
zhari'o"t -- which has a nice lilt to my ear. Overall, I prefer this
version to the first -- more of a poetic/sing-songy cadence this time
around. The middle could certainly be honed more for lyric value, but
this was presented as a translation, not a libretto exercise.

Kou