Re: CHAT: mental masturbation

Tom Wier said, "For me, at least, it *wasn't* terribly offensive, but it
*was* vulgar and coarse, and that's something I'd like to avoid, because
one of the things I prize about this group is the elevated and mature tone
of discussion. The point is, we should try to maintain high standards of
decency and respect for all people, and try to anticipate when others
*might* be offended.  That's something we shouldn't, I think, let go as
just taken for granted."

If I was a bit put out, it was because I do not feel that what I said was
vulgar, coarse, or explicit, all of which are adjectives used to describe
my post. I also don't appreciate that I received all these negative posts
telling me what I can and can't talk about - it's sheer hypocricy given the
tangents taken on this email list. I was annoyed - and remain so - because
I didn't say anything racy in the first place. And yes I would
intellectually discuss masturbation in a crowd of people I didn't know well
if we were on topic (for example, speaking about health issues in schools
or if someone called my hobby mental masturbation).

Point is, I don't see the vulgarity. Sure, maybe if I discussed techniques
or my personal sex life. I didn't. I simply pointed out [with NO idea that
this well-adjusted group of people whom I otherwise respect would
subsequently leap through the roof!] that any psychologist who called
conlanging mental masturbation needs to tell me what's wrong with
masturbation. After all, the American Psychological Association says it's
good for you.

That was entirely ontopic in the context of the discussion; I had no idea I
was making some kind of radical sexpower statement; and I am insulted that
this topic is somehow inappropriate for this forum knowing as I do how
offtopic this list gets.

"High standards of decency?" Give me a break. I was not indecent; I said
the word "masturbation." If that makes me a pottymouth, then so be it.
Heaven forfend I actually talk about my words for sex which I have in my
conlang. What makes those inappropriate and not the ones about eating or
going to the bathroom? "Elevated and mature?" How mature are we if a single
comment about masturbation in the course of discussion leads to a call for
people to stop talking about such 'vulgarities?'

And I bet no-one would care if I talked about violence or killing or
murder. In fact, I know murder has been discussed on this list before. So
it's ok to talk about killing but not to *mention* masturbation?

You say you are offended by my speech, but in truth I feel angry at the
response I have received. I don't think that this is fair to me; it's the
same hypocricy that exists in my own society. It's ok to show people
getting capped [killed] but on the topic of sex repress, repress, repress!
Don't talk about it! We all do it but we can't even think about it!

In any case, no matter what I say I'm afraid someone will find some snide
way to respond. Like "Well, from now on I'm just going to delete your
posts." So let me repeat: I had no intention of offending; I also do not
find these objections based on reasonable standards.

I hope that is enough to quench the impending conlang drama; one of the
reasons I always liked conlang was the way people treated each other. I
hope this misunderstanding will blow over and that people will come to
their senses about what I actually said.

BB
*********
Tomboy: "a wench that skippeth as a boy."
- Richard Verstegen, 1605

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
- H.G. Wells